Sunday, September 30, 2012
I have never wanted to be out of this area so badly in all my days. My entire life I knew this was the best place on Earth. I have wondered around to many different places from California to Chicago and many and all places in between but never found anywhere I loved more then here..........until recently. To the point I check real estate listings almost daily and sit and flip through out photos like a sick puppy. It's pathetic really.......to be homesick for a place that isn't your home. I have never experienced a genuine peace in like I did there. And I'm sure it would get old the same as anywhere after a while but for right now I am still sulking and have no desire to be here at all. I picture my kids going to the little school there and walking home. I picture warm days all Fall and relatives coming to visit us and being green with envy because it's so wonderful. Oh well......dream on. Until then I can blog in letter the color of the water.....right? And paint and decorate my home like a paradise. My friend in Hawaii told me paradise is where ever you want it to be. So, next week..........I will paint. :)
Not Ashamed
I completely contradicted myself in a post I wrote a year or more ago. The Medication Debate.
Back in the Summer when we lost Dr. Littleton to UK I got a call from Eli's insurance. We have Ky Spirit and I am very thankful for it since Danny's work does not provide insurance. The nurse informed me that any med changes would need to be inpatient given Eli's history. Eli's history?! You mean the incidents I have handled at home where he is surrounded by people who love him and not strangers in a sterile environment?
I thought about this for several weeks before I decided I had to wean him off his Seroquil to prevent this from ever happening and I convinced myself I'd not really seen a difference in the year he had been on it.
I weaned him off the exact way it was calibrated. Very slowly a few mg's at ta time. The first couple weeks I removed the morning dose. I saw no change and was thrilled. By the time we went to the island on vacation a couple weeks ago he had just been weaned off completely and was perfect while we were gone.
When we came home the bottom dropped. He was a different child. He constantly had to be scolded, redirected and was also having a few problems at school with disrespecting his teacher.
The first thing I done was try to add a little extra stimulant in the mornings. He takes a 27mg ER but I added 10mg of RR. This corrected the school problem but home was making me loose my mind. I could feel it. I was coming apart at the seems. Dreading when the bus ran. The week after we returned from the island he sat for hours and picked crab claws from his feet that he swore stuck in there from the little fellas on the beach at night. He became very anxious. Constantly picking at his skin, nails, toes, hair, feet and nose. I had had enough when he was playing with Zackary and unknowingly bit the back of his leg and then seemed suprised he had done it. The eye for a eye in me bit him back! I knew it just wasn't fair anymore for him to continue without it so this week I began giving it again and working my way slowly back up to the dose we were at. He has been asleep by 830 every night and back to eating more.
If things fall into place as I think they will Danny's work will be offering insurance soon and I won't have to worry about Ky Spirits requirements and regulations in mental health. Fingers Crossed.
Use me a example. Weather you are 9 or 90 or somewhere in between, sometimes you need to be on medication. Same as a diabetic needs insulin. It's no different. And we are not ashamed.
Back in the Summer when we lost Dr. Littleton to UK I got a call from Eli's insurance. We have Ky Spirit and I am very thankful for it since Danny's work does not provide insurance. The nurse informed me that any med changes would need to be inpatient given Eli's history. Eli's history?! You mean the incidents I have handled at home where he is surrounded by people who love him and not strangers in a sterile environment?
I thought about this for several weeks before I decided I had to wean him off his Seroquil to prevent this from ever happening and I convinced myself I'd not really seen a difference in the year he had been on it.
I weaned him off the exact way it was calibrated. Very slowly a few mg's at ta time. The first couple weeks I removed the morning dose. I saw no change and was thrilled. By the time we went to the island on vacation a couple weeks ago he had just been weaned off completely and was perfect while we were gone.
When we came home the bottom dropped. He was a different child. He constantly had to be scolded, redirected and was also having a few problems at school with disrespecting his teacher.
The first thing I done was try to add a little extra stimulant in the mornings. He takes a 27mg ER but I added 10mg of RR. This corrected the school problem but home was making me loose my mind. I could feel it. I was coming apart at the seems. Dreading when the bus ran. The week after we returned from the island he sat for hours and picked crab claws from his feet that he swore stuck in there from the little fellas on the beach at night. He became very anxious. Constantly picking at his skin, nails, toes, hair, feet and nose. I had had enough when he was playing with Zackary and unknowingly bit the back of his leg and then seemed suprised he had done it. The eye for a eye in me bit him back! I knew it just wasn't fair anymore for him to continue without it so this week I began giving it again and working my way slowly back up to the dose we were at. He has been asleep by 830 every night and back to eating more.
If things fall into place as I think they will Danny's work will be offering insurance soon and I won't have to worry about Ky Spirits requirements and regulations in mental health. Fingers Crossed.
Use me a example. Weather you are 9 or 90 or somewhere in between, sometimes you need to be on medication. Same as a diabetic needs insulin. It's no different. And we are not ashamed.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
For My Judy
In the Spring of 2006 I lost one of the best friends I've ever had to suicide. Her family chose to have no service for her. They wanted no flowers and no words spoken on her behalf and she was cremated and sitting on someone shelf to collect dust. Just like their memory of her. They wrote her off as if she never lived. I was never able to have closure and think of her almost every day since then. Little things have reminded me of her for 6 1/2 years. Ask my husband how many times a week I mention Judy and he would simply smile and say........often.
I have concocted this little story in my mind that she's not really dead and it was all something Judy cooked up to leave here and go somewhere great and leave all her problems behind.
And now the one and only Kenny Chesney has released a song that paralyzes me. I think he is looking for my Judy, too.
I have concocted this little story in my mind that she's not really dead and it was all something Judy cooked up to leave here and go somewhere great and leave all her problems behind.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
At 1 a.m. I woke up to puke hitting the back of my head, neck and back. (gag) Yall know I love my babies to the moon and back but puke, snot and spit are my weakness. In that order too.
I scooped up Evyn (while we were both dripping with puke) and put him in a bubble bath while I stripped my bed. Quilt, sheets, fitted sheet, three pillows, our clothes, and the neatly folded bed spread that was folded neatly at the very bottom was also a victim of the projectile vomit.
While in the tub he puked again.
I made him a bed on the shag rug in the living room where he puked again. At this point I'm running out of pillows and covers.
He finally fell asleep but woke up puking about hourly. I have managed to stay ahead of the laundry so he has clean Egyptian Cotton pillows to spew on. Bless his heart. He is zapped and now the other end of the poor thing is working over time. Clearly Rota. Yall know that aroma like no other!!
My laundry pile........looks endless.
Zac is much better. He was sporting the big "A" this a.m.
And in case you want to laugh.....check out the boys bathroom. I knew better then to step in there barefooted with out a mop at 5 a.m.
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Tuesday, September 18, 2012
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Monday, September 17, 2012
Dauphin Island, AL
So Danny and me decided last week we were taking off and heading to the beach. Baby sitter were in place for the weekend and by Thursday night I was packed and had the kids ready for grandparents houses the next day.
Thursday night around 8 p.m. Danny and me were sitting on the back porch. I had just spent the evening at Granny's cleaning up for her and putting away some groceries. It dawned on me earlier in the week that IF something were to happen to Granny while we were gone that it would be devastating on the kids if we were gone even more. I never mentioned a word tho. Danny and me needed some time with out the kids so I swallowed the bad feelings about leaving them down and knew they'd be taken good care of between Mom and Nana. Danny can read my mind tho. He very sweetly ask if I wanted to take the kids. After a little thought we decided we should take them this time in case something happen while we were gone or we were unable to take them back Fall Break. We decoded we wanted to leave that night and drive while they were sleeping. By 9:30 p.m they were ready and packed to head out. The kids were bouncing all over the house. It made me all girlie and emotional to see them so happy and excited. Eli's eyes were the size of half dollars.
The ride down was peaceful. Eli tuffed the ride to almost Nashville before he fell asleep. We woke up Eli and Zac around 1a.m to see the rocket at the Alabama line then on our way we were again. At 4:30 our eyes felt like sand paper so we pulled over and shut our eyes for a couple hours below Montgomery, AL.
Right before we arrived we stopped at Walmart for necessities. You know.......buckets, shovels, sand toys and Evyn a pair of flip flops. It was a no shoes, no socks kinda weekend.
The bridge to the island was a bridge indeed. Peyton covered his head with a pillow case and refused to peek. I soaked up every minute tho.
This was their first look at our condo and the gulf.
We spent a few quick minutes showing the kids their room, unpacking a few things and changing into what we basically stayed in for the next 2 1/2 days.
We met a family from Mobile who comes every weekend and stays in the same condo. The little boy, Alan, was a sweet kiddo who played in the daytime with the boys on the beach then swam with Eli and Peyton in the pool till bedtime. His mom let us in on a few things about the island. She explained to us how prior to Katrina the shore line was much different and there was water under the pier. Folks fished there and pulled in SHARKS! She also told us to go to the beach just before sunrise and we could see the dolphins. Eli and me got up on Sunday morning and walked the beach and saw the dolphins. Huge shells washed up to our feet this time of day and the sunrise over the pier was breathtaking. She also was nice enough to take a few family shots for us.
The morning walk on the beach was unlike any thing else I was ever experienced. I am so glad we decided to take the kids. The food was great. There was no crowd at all. The locals were friendlier than folks at home. Danny and me even spotted a few homes for sale were we decided me must retire to. The trip was hardest on Zacary. He was sick Friday night. Spewing. My OCD was spazzing since I was trapped in a condo with no Tide. Lesson learned. We we go back I will pack laundry supplies, Tylenol and nausea meds. I think his little nerves were shot because he wanted his own bed and toys. So, next time we will pack his covers and some toys to make it feel more like home. Besides me not thinking clearly about what we might need it was perfect. I'll be better prepared for when we spend the week there ASAP.
Thursday night around 8 p.m. Danny and me were sitting on the back porch. I had just spent the evening at Granny's cleaning up for her and putting away some groceries. It dawned on me earlier in the week that IF something were to happen to Granny while we were gone that it would be devastating on the kids if we were gone even more. I never mentioned a word tho. Danny and me needed some time with out the kids so I swallowed the bad feelings about leaving them down and knew they'd be taken good care of between Mom and Nana. Danny can read my mind tho. He very sweetly ask if I wanted to take the kids. After a little thought we decided we should take them this time in case something happen while we were gone or we were unable to take them back Fall Break. We decoded we wanted to leave that night and drive while they were sleeping. By 9:30 p.m they were ready and packed to head out. The kids were bouncing all over the house. It made me all girlie and emotional to see them so happy and excited. Eli's eyes were the size of half dollars.
Right before we arrived we stopped at Walmart for necessities. You know.......buckets, shovels, sand toys and Evyn a pair of flip flops. It was a no shoes, no socks kinda weekend.
The bridge to the island was a bridge indeed. Peyton covered his head with a pillow case and refused to peek. I soaked up every minute tho.
This was their first look at our condo and the gulf.
We spent a few quick minutes showing the kids their room, unpacking a few things and changing into what we basically stayed in for the next 2 1/2 days.
We met a family from Mobile who comes every weekend and stays in the same condo. The little boy, Alan, was a sweet kiddo who played in the daytime with the boys on the beach then swam with Eli and Peyton in the pool till bedtime. His mom let us in on a few things about the island. She explained to us how prior to Katrina the shore line was much different and there was water under the pier. Folks fished there and pulled in SHARKS! She also told us to go to the beach just before sunrise and we could see the dolphins. Eli and me got up on Sunday morning and walked the beach and saw the dolphins. Huge shells washed up to our feet this time of day and the sunrise over the pier was breathtaking. She also was nice enough to take a few family shots for us.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Picture Dump
Another photo for our "ouch" album. Peyton stab wound before stitches.
Moms hott red scarf. I love that chunky soft yarn.
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