Awards Day at SCA

The kids had their ceremony today. I am very proud of their accomplishments.

I  am now the Momma of a 2nd year Pre-schooler. A 3rd grader. A 6th grader. And a Sophomore.  Oh my. All my babies are moving on up.

My Two Cents

Surely the date of ny last blog is incorrect. Has it really been that long? I did not realize life as I knew it would change so much after Granny moved in. Its been challenging and rewarding. Exhausting and delightful. Irritating and hilarious.

I had an idea for a blog come to me last night and couldnt wait to load a new blog ap on this spectacular new little phone (the iphobe malfunctioned and now that I have the Galaxy I am thrilled).

Many of my freinds are getting married in the upcoming Summer. Some young and marrying for the first time (I use that sentence lightly) and some have been down the road before.

I am an observer.  One might call it nosey. I think words like interested, curious and  observant sound less like a bad thing.

I've watched these couples during their showers, photo sessions, rehursals and get togethers. And I have made mental notes of who will last for the duration and will last till only next Spring IF their lucky. Yes. Demented. But sadly I can spot disasters from a glance and usually I nail it. How do I know these things you ask.....well, I'm no stranger to disaster.

I layed in bed last night thinking about all my friends, family or just simplely aquantances signing their contract. That basically what marriages is you know. A mutual agreement. And I began to think about the advice I'd give had I been asked for it (I dont expect to be asked given my record of disaster previously mentioned).

The facts remain......If your marrying because your pregnant and it's the "right" thing to do......it will fail. Your 25$ contract is as useless as tits on a boar hog (you liked that anolagy didn't you!?) Bless your hearts. Babies are expensive and you will need that $1500+ your about to spend on a lawyer and court cost for diapers and Xanex.

If one of you experiment with drugs, drink or have any sort of addiction that the other does not.......run. Fast. Codependance is a term used loosely but its a very serious word. We cannot FIX people. They are who they are. If their mother was a self ricious bitch and they have problems developing a loving genuine trust with women.......your devotion won't change a dam thing. Run. Fast. Same goes for women. If they have Daddy issues that they have'nt nipped in the bud.....guys run. Fast. A marriage isnt about petting your partner or stroking their ego. Its 50/50. Even 40/60 is excetable but you can't burn up your energy and waste your mentality if they have lingering issues that still greatly effect their currant quality of life. Some grow from childhood crap and go on to lead good lifes. Others dweal on how everyone has mistreated them and never let it go.

Children can create a whole different problem. Men and women can be cruel jealous creatures.  Just because you see your potential husband/wife play well with their neice, nephew, neighbor, ect. does not mean they would be great parents. Its easy to be good to a child your not responsible for. Id suggest beibg married at keast 3 years before reproducing. By this time you know if they are parent material. You know if they are moody in the mornings or when they are tired. This is important. Feedings every two hours in the middle of the night get lonsome and frustrating when you don't have help and support.

By the 3 year mark you should also know if they have managed to hide some mental illness that might cause you to feel the need to break contract before offspring join that house full of egg shell floors. Ya know........asking for a complete medical history prior to even signing your contract would be a good idea. Avoiding divorce is the whole point to this entry anyway. Lets get back to that.

Long engagements. Never marry before age 25. People prior to 25 are not who they will be afterwards. The brain chemically changes. Its proven.

If you have been hit, slapped, verbally abused, inapropiatly laughed at, had your feelings disreguared, pushed, ect. .....run. Fast. Faster then you have ever ran before. You cannot fix this. Their behaviour will either break you or cause you to turn into a evil person too. Neither of which you deserve.  Sadly these marriages do not always end in divorce. You will be left feeling trapped. You will be made to beleive you could never do better. You will have your children used against you as leverage. You will be spyed on. Questioned constantly. And your significant other will claim they are simply looking out for your best interest. Because you are stupid and not thinking clearly.  You will not be allowed to clean up and go anywhere alone. You will be made to feel guiltly if you do.

The bottom line is, know who your marrying. I mean really know them. If they are lazy now, marriage and kids might fix that temporally but not permantly. If they have no compassion now, they won't later. And you will raise kids who dont care about others feelings either.
If they have abused you once, theres a good chance you wont make it out of the marriage alive.

For this and other tidbits of advice that noone will ever use suscribe to my blog.
Happy Humpday.

Photo Dump

My house on ever single snow day. #longestwinterever

Evyn dislikes snow! He finally decided it was fun to play in on the day it finally began to melt. 

I stole sugar anyway. 

Best Birthday Ever!!! Kristen came over and spent the day with me. Baked me a cake. Brought me Some goodies. And joined my MK team. 

Pey slaughtered his first devil dog AKA coyote. He skinned it beautifully. Photos of the tanned skin soon to come. 

Today I made a rug and signed another team member. Brianna Robbins.......great things are about to happen! 

Peyton brought in my favorite and we put them in food coloring and water. So cool huh?!

Hopefully, this was the last day for a hat. But I hear it's supposed to snow Sunday. Happy Spring. <3

Up To Date with Eli and Zackary

  The last few days, between the snow, ice and unbearably cold temps, I have found myself with some free time. I decided to charge up the Kindle and search for something to download and read since I cant slip away to a book store quite as easy I did before.
 
  I'm a fairly frugal lady, so I found myself downloading the free trial pages, reading those, then moving on to something else. Nothing really seemed worth the entire purchase.
 
  I have never really cared for fiction reads. I love self helps, biography's, ect. The last several years I have buried myself in books about children and their diagnoses as well as blogs of others parents who raise them. I can relate to those parents. I find comfort in reading them. The more I read, the more I said "hey, it's like that here too".  I started to wonder why I waste my "free time" reading these stories that are identical to mine as opposed to writing my own post. I use to do that a lot and found great comfort in sharing our own moments. And like most everything else I do, I stopped for fear people would get tired of hearing about it. But, being a parents of two special children, I know I never get tired of reading about others. I cry with those parents. I laugh with those parents. And I rejoice with those parents.

  I think it's time for a update on my boys.

  Eli is doing really well. Last Fall we finally found another Dr. that suited me. He started him on a new cocktail of medications that together have changed that kid in ways I thought would never happen. He hugs us, kisses us, talks to us. He screams less in anger and shows more healthy emotion. he is completing his school work efficiently as well as checking and double checking his work. He has been on the honor roll all year. The move to a private school was the best move for him as well as Zackary. Currently he is on 27mg Concerta, 25mg Zoloft, 1mg Risperdal x2 and Trazodone as needed for sleeplessness.  Just recently he has taken a interest in staying with Mom and Dad a couple nights a week. Between all these changes, I have found myself actually exhaling.

  Along with the new Dr. last Fall, Danny and I also decided it was time to think about his future. We decided to look into applying for disability for Eli. My fear for the last several years were that if something were to happen to me, I needed to know Eli was taken care of. I wanted to make sure he'd always have a good insurance that allowed him good mental health care and with drawing disability it opened the door for him to have services that we otherwise couldn't afford or were not offered to him. Disability is such a harsh word that I told only a few people of our intentions. After all, he's not physically disabled. He's not even mentally disabled. He has challenges that are crippling, yes. But, unfortunately it is what it is and it's labeled "disability".  I skipped filing on our own first and went straight to a lawyer. He fit all the criteria to be approved right off the bat but there was one problem. You see, we have college funds for each of the boys. Because Eli has a account in his name in excess of  two thousand dollars, the lawyer said we would still be denied. I sulked about this for several weeks. I am simply trying to secure his future. I feel we shouldn't be punished for wanting him to be able to attend college if he chooses to. That pretty much brings us up to date with male child number 2. Now, lets move along to number 3.

  Zackary is doing well in school as well. Matter of fact, he does so well that I forget he too needs attention. He is always quite. Never complains. Rarely ask for anything. His work is beyond perfect. He's has almost completed a entire year of school and starting on the next grade level soon. He cruises through life so quitly and easy that when he does have a few bad days it leaves me in total disarray. It slips my mind that he IS on the Autism Spectrum.

  Zackary was diagnosed sorda informally two years ago when I took him to Eli's Dr. because something wasn't quite right. At that time the Dr. said, "IF there were to be a Aspergers scale from 1-10, 10 being the most extreme case, Zackary would be a 4. Over the last couple years I'd peg him to be a 6 now.  This year many more of the traits have came to surface. he has extreme reactions to minor upsets. He cannot be flexable with plan changes. He gets stuck on topics. Danny and I aggravate him and say his button is stuck. He gets upset by ambiguous language and interprets language very literally. He's a concrete thinking. Things are very black and white. He has difficulty making and keeping friends. (I know exactly what my three friends are thinking who are reading this. Just keep your two cents to yourself. I already know where Zackary received this Aspie trait and don't need you telling me.)  He also use to really enjoy a particular little gal here in our neighborhood but now he just finds those visits uncomfortable and hides in his room. His coordination has not improved either. I still only allow him to drink from cups with lids and he doesn't even try to carry plates of food or cereal bowls to and from the table anymore. He knows he wont make it there. He still finds comfort in jumping, twirling, flapping and flipping. He taught himself how to do back and front handsprings. It's amazing to see him do it. I know this must sound like he has no quality of life but you couldn't be more wrong. He laughs and he laughs a lot. It's the most beautiful sound in this entire house. He enjoys "winning". He loves games and competition. Yes, when he looses it's tragic to his mood. But when he wins it's as if he bubbles over. I use to hope he improved with his thinking but nowadays I find myself hoping he never ever changes and remains like this throughout his whole life. He is perfect.

  I hope all my fellow parents are surviving this weather. I'm anxious to hear how things are with you all. What have you done to keep the kids happy and busy this winter?
 

  Today is their 100th day of school and their Valentines Party. Here's a photo preview of their festivities.

 

I Made It Photo Dump

January, I've had about enough of your shenanigans.

 Today was one of "those" days. 

Last night was absolutely terrible. But night time always is here now. 

January has always tried to kick my arse. I'm not sure what this month has against me but I wish it would move on to another victim. 

Today I decided to check back at previous blogs from this date even though I already knew what story they told. 

Last year on this date my Daddy was in the Medical Center. A Dr. Appointment earlier that day prompted a immediate transfer. I was not prepared at all!! About this time  I was just preparing to leave the Medical Center and come home. His bipass was scheduled for the next morning. The next morning held a surprise as well. It took me 3 hours to reach BG due to an early morning ice storm. It was one of the most difficult times of my entire life. 

Two years ago on this date was no different. It wasn't  the same nature, but very stressful and nerve racking all the same. I posted the blog link from that day below. I was not prepared for the events of that day either. 

http://fourtheboysblogspot.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-am-superwoman.html?m=0

Thankfully, today has not held any big surprises for me. Everyone is healthy for the most part. My Granny is safe and sound in my home. My Daddy is strong. What more could I ask for?! My children are great. I've come to find my place in life and becoming happier in my own skin. Yes, today did slap me around a few times but just as I have said in the years past.........your gonna have to try harder then that to bring me down. If I can survive 3 January 24th's (what is it with that date anyway?) in a row of pure hell, I can survive anything. And for the record, this one was cake compared to the others. I must be on the downhill slope. 

As for now, it's 9:30 and the two kids I have here tonite are snoring in sync with Granny and the dog. Time to send the hubs his good night text and relax till Grams is up visiting at 2 a.m. 

This is your story. And it's still being written. (updated January 28th)

As most of you know by now, my Granny moved in with us the first week of January. It's been challenging but rewarding. Dementia is taking her from us very quickly. I decided to write down everything I could possibly remember plus stories she tells during good  moments for her to read when she is confused and unsure who she is. My own rendition of The Notebook you might say.

I wanted to share with you what I have so far and invite you to add your own memories so I can add them to her story.  She usually has no problem right now recalling old memories when reminded. But I know there will come a day when she can't anymore. Enjoy.......

This Is Your Story, Granny, And It's Still Being Written.

 

 

I know your memory is getting worse and you often wonder who you are, where you came from and why you’re here. I wanted to write you something you could pick up and read when you are confused and scared.  First, know that we love you and your right where you are supposed to be. Surrounded by friends and family and people who love you and have known you all their lives.

First of all your name is Lillian Agnes Jeffries. You were born on August 4^th 1922. That makes you almost 92 years old. And secondly, my name is Kathy Jo. I am your granddaughter. I am the one who wrote this for you. I along with most everyone else have always called you Granny.

Granny, you have one son. His name is Larry Keith. I asked you once how come you to name him Larry. You said it was just a name you liked. Larry is my Daddy. Other than me, he also has two sons. Their names are David and Brent. They both visit you often along with their wives named Lesia and Terrie.

You have lived with me since January 8^th 2013. Prior to that you lived right beside me in your home. You lived alone there for many years. You were married to my Grandpaw for over 50 years. Grandpaw passed away in 1993. We are not exactly certain, but we believe he suffered from an aneurysm that burst.

 

 

 

Since his passing you remained in your home until moving in with me. You took some serious falls at home alone and the final fall before moving in with us was very dangerous. Doctors believe you were on the floor all night long before we found you and called an ambulance. It scared your family a lot as well as your Doctors. That’s when we decided that it was no longer safe for you to stay home alone. We only have your best interest in our hearts.

I know things are confusing to you, but it is normal. You see, you have been diagnosed with dementia. Other than dementia you have always been very healthy. You have never broken bones or been extremely sick very much you whole life. You have always been very independent and I know that’s making this all even harder. I know you worry that you are a burden but you are just the opposite. We all love you and want you here with us until time comes that I am unable to care for you safely.  

As I mentioned earlier, my name is Kathy Jo. You live here with me, my husband and four boys. My four boys are named Peyton, Eli, Zackary and Evyn. My husband’s name is Danny. You don’t see Danny very much because he is a truck driver and stays gone quite a bit. All four of my children attend school now. They go to Savoyard Christian Academy. It’s the school that the church started and Daddy let them use his community center building for the school. The same building we had your surprise 90^th birthday party in on your birthday in August 2012.

We live in a little town called Savoyard. Most of us call it Chicken Bristle. You’ve told me before that it was nicknamed Chicken Bristle because there once was a hotel about two miles out the park road that got in too big of a hurry dressing their chickens and left bristles in them. People soon started calling that hotel Chicken Bristle and the name just stuck around.

 

 

You were raised in a little cabin not far from here. The cabin is barely still standing. Last year I dug through the remains of it and found a window frame that seems to have been from the upstairs. That frame now hangs beside your bed in the room here in my home that we have for you. You’ve told me stories about living in that cabin. One that I remember the most is you telling me about rocking in a rocking chair there and accidental rocking on one of your sisters toes. I’m not sure why that story has stuck with me and I don’t recall now which sister it was. You had a large family. Travis Hall, Dee, Wayne, Lovie Mae, Amy Florine. I remember all of them except Florine. We use to visit Wayne and Lovie often in Indiana. I never met your parents. They passed before I was born but you often confuse Daddy and your Poppa. I think by photos they must resemble a lot. Your Dad, whom you always refer to as Poppa, passed away when he was 94. He lived a long life and you always claimed for as long as I can remember that you too.  And you have. You are almost 92 and up until a couple years ago still insisted to push mow a portion of your yard. Which reminds me of one of the only injuries I’ve ever heard of you having. While push mowing a ditch in your yard your foot slipped under the mower and you lost a portion of a couple toes. I always thought about that every single time you would get in the ditch with your push mower. You made me a nervous wreck!!

 

 

 

On your good days I probe you for memories that I can jot down. Not only for you to read but for myself. On one day in particular we spoke a lot about your siblings. We talked about how Lovie never had any children of her own. She was pregnant once but lost her baby. After that she had to have a hysterectomy due to tumors that had invaded her reproductive organs. We also spoke of Florine and you named her children. Florine had one boy and several girls. Roger, Rita, Mary Ellen, and Sherry are who you remembered off the top of your head. Amy Florine was named after a friend of your mothers. She had a friend named Amy. You also told me your Grandpa Johnson had a nickname for Travis. He called his Travis Hall Screaming Balls. We laughed about that for a long time. It strange the things that seem to pop into your mind so easily from so long ago but you usually can’t recall what you had for breakfast. I know that it is part of your dementia, and I gather as much information now as I possibly can for both of us.

January 28th

You had a lot of stories today. We chatted and I secretly took notes. Today we talked about William Garret Johnson. He was your uncle. You called him Uncle Tuck. Apparently he worked out of state and his coworkers nicknamed him Tuck because he was from Kentucky. It stuck his entire life. He was married to a Clack.

This morning you stared out the window at the road that runs in front our homes and remember a time when you and Lovie would walk to Uncle Tucks house. Tuck shoed horses among other odd jobs. You girls done a lot of walking. None of your family ever had cars although Uncle Dee bought himself one when he was older. There is a Clack Cemetery Rd just down from here, which is were he lived. Years ago most everyone had a small family cemetery on their property were they were buried. You were not certain but thought Uncle Tuck and his wife were buried there after their passing. I'm sure it must have been her family buried there as well.  When it gets warm Peyton and I will have to investigate some of these things.

We also talked about your Grandpa and Grandma Johnson. They had a big house somewhere over around Aunt Norma's home. I'm picturing it must have been close to the little cabin you grew up in that I've been to several times.

You claim to have many great memories about their place. I've seen a photograph of their home and often wondered how anyone could have such a large nice home back then. You said he was a good business man.

They too, had a close family cemetery. Another that me and Peyton will have to visit. You said two children were buried there and that they passed from what was believed to be Typhoid Fever. They were there when you were a child so I imagine their graves are unrecognizably by now.  Grandma and Grandpa Johnson are buried there you believe. Uncle Jim Wheeler was also buried there but his family moved his stone to Glasgow some years ago.

You lived in the little cabin on that land many years until your grandparents were old and sick. At that time you moved in with them and lived there until they both passed away. That big old house didn't remain in the family. Through the grapevine it was believed that the home was later burned for insurance money.

I was surprised to learn that two stores sat in Chicken Brissle here across from each other. It seemed to me that would cause many arguments to have two general stores in the small  community. You said y'all traded only with the store that had been here the longest and some years later that other store also burned. Once again......gossip was it was also burned for insurance.

It must have been in the water today to tell stories. Daddy came in and joined in with stories of his own and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to jot those down a swell.

Some years ago I decided to clean out the garage and toss some of the kids old bicycles. One had dry rotted tires and one was simply too small and rusted. Daddy was very upset that I intended to toss two perfect bikes because someone could enjoy those. Today I understood that better.

Daddy (which is your son) never had a bicycle. He also done a lot of walking. A few of his friends had a bike but he didn't. Daddy saved his money once and purchased a bicycle for ten cents. It was used and worn out and had a bad chain that always got hung up in his britches leg. I imagine it was a wasted ten cents. Another time he traded a BB gun with a slight defect for a bike. It was a decent trade but he was already older by this point and wasn't really in to bikes anymore. He was more a motor bike kind of boy by this point and saved thirty five dollar for one of his own. It lasted one day, because every boy around here took a turn on it and it was pretty much destroyed by the second day. I can just picture you shaking your head about this situation sixty years ago. I imagine you would have been about the age I am now when he was making these trades.  Boys will be boys wont they, Granny?