Up To Date with Eli and Zackary

  The last few days, between the snow, ice and unbearably cold temps, I have found myself with some free time. I decided to charge up the Kindle and search for something to download and read since I cant slip away to a book store quite as easy I did before.
 
  I'm a fairly frugal lady, so I found myself downloading the free trial pages, reading those, then moving on to something else. Nothing really seemed worth the entire purchase.
 
  I have never really cared for fiction reads. I love self helps, biography's, ect. The last several years I have buried myself in books about children and their diagnoses as well as blogs of others parents who raise them. I can relate to those parents. I find comfort in reading them. The more I read, the more I said "hey, it's like that here too".  I started to wonder why I waste my "free time" reading these stories that are identical to mine as opposed to writing my own post. I use to do that a lot and found great comfort in sharing our own moments. And like most everything else I do, I stopped for fear people would get tired of hearing about it. But, being a parents of two special children, I know I never get tired of reading about others. I cry with those parents. I laugh with those parents. And I rejoice with those parents.

  I think it's time for a update on my boys.

  Eli is doing really well. Last Fall we finally found another Dr. that suited me. He started him on a new cocktail of medications that together have changed that kid in ways I thought would never happen. He hugs us, kisses us, talks to us. He screams less in anger and shows more healthy emotion. he is completing his school work efficiently as well as checking and double checking his work. He has been on the honor roll all year. The move to a private school was the best move for him as well as Zackary. Currently he is on 27mg Concerta, 25mg Zoloft, 1mg Risperdal x2 and Trazodone as needed for sleeplessness.  Just recently he has taken a interest in staying with Mom and Dad a couple nights a week. Between all these changes, I have found myself actually exhaling.

  Along with the new Dr. last Fall, Danny and I also decided it was time to think about his future. We decided to look into applying for disability for Eli. My fear for the last several years were that if something were to happen to me, I needed to know Eli was taken care of. I wanted to make sure he'd always have a good insurance that allowed him good mental health care and with drawing disability it opened the door for him to have services that we otherwise couldn't afford or were not offered to him. Disability is such a harsh word that I told only a few people of our intentions. After all, he's not physically disabled. He's not even mentally disabled. He has challenges that are crippling, yes. But, unfortunately it is what it is and it's labeled "disability".  I skipped filing on our own first and went straight to a lawyer. He fit all the criteria to be approved right off the bat but there was one problem. You see, we have college funds for each of the boys. Because Eli has a account in his name in excess of  two thousand dollars, the lawyer said we would still be denied. I sulked about this for several weeks. I am simply trying to secure his future. I feel we shouldn't be punished for wanting him to be able to attend college if he chooses to. That pretty much brings us up to date with male child number 2. Now, lets move along to number 3.

  Zackary is doing well in school as well. Matter of fact, he does so well that I forget he too needs attention. He is always quite. Never complains. Rarely ask for anything. His work is beyond perfect. He's has almost completed a entire year of school and starting on the next grade level soon. He cruises through life so quitly and easy that when he does have a few bad days it leaves me in total disarray. It slips my mind that he IS on the Autism Spectrum.

  Zackary was diagnosed sorda informally two years ago when I took him to Eli's Dr. because something wasn't quite right. At that time the Dr. said, "IF there were to be a Aspergers scale from 1-10, 10 being the most extreme case, Zackary would be a 4. Over the last couple years I'd peg him to be a 6 now.  This year many more of the traits have came to surface. he has extreme reactions to minor upsets. He cannot be flexable with plan changes. He gets stuck on topics. Danny and I aggravate him and say his button is stuck. He gets upset by ambiguous language and interprets language very literally. He's a concrete thinking. Things are very black and white. He has difficulty making and keeping friends. (I know exactly what my three friends are thinking who are reading this. Just keep your two cents to yourself. I already know where Zackary received this Aspie trait and don't need you telling me.)  He also use to really enjoy a particular little gal here in our neighborhood but now he just finds those visits uncomfortable and hides in his room. His coordination has not improved either. I still only allow him to drink from cups with lids and he doesn't even try to carry plates of food or cereal bowls to and from the table anymore. He knows he wont make it there. He still finds comfort in jumping, twirling, flapping and flipping. He taught himself how to do back and front handsprings. It's amazing to see him do it. I know this must sound like he has no quality of life but you couldn't be more wrong. He laughs and he laughs a lot. It's the most beautiful sound in this entire house. He enjoys "winning". He loves games and competition. Yes, when he looses it's tragic to his mood. But when he wins it's as if he bubbles over. I use to hope he improved with his thinking but nowadays I find myself hoping he never ever changes and remains like this throughout his whole life. He is perfect.

  I hope all my fellow parents are surviving this weather. I'm anxious to hear how things are with you all. What have you done to keep the kids happy and busy this winter?
 

  Today is their 100th day of school and their Valentines Party. Here's a photo preview of their festivities.

 

*If you want to borrow my children for a free meal........please inbox me.

Thursday. 3 days after Monday Cleaning Day I am still surrounded by a dirty house. Today I am tired and it all is a bit over whelming to look at. I washed a few dishes even tho I have a perfectly fine dishwasher. I owe this to my mother-in-law, Diane. I have never known this woman to use a dishwasher in the 8 years I have known her on a personal level. I have never ask her her reasons for not using a perfectly good dishwasher but,I think they would probably be much like mine. You don't have to wash off spots or left over dried food. Hand washing is much milder on pots, pans, stoneware and tupperware. And whats the point of running a dish washer 3 times to clean a plate that eventually has to soak in dishwater and be washed by hand anyway? Diane, you would be happy to know the love of hand washing dishes has rubbed off on me.  This was not supposed to be a entry on washing dishes.  This was supposed to be a entry on the wild hair I got on Evyn's 2nd birthday.

January 5th. I loaded up all the boys and headed to town after school. Very rarely do I feel patient, loving and kind enough to take all four kids anywhere. On this particular day I was filled with love, guts and glory. I made my mind up to take all of them to Coltons for supper. It was Evyn's 2nd birthday and by golly someone was going to bring him cake and sing to that child! I decided Coltons was my better option of the sit down restaurants in Glasgow because the kids could eat peanuts and throw the shells on the floor. Don't laugh. Unless you have more than one child you cannot possibly fathom the panning that goes into a outing with 4 children.

Entering places together makes me nervous. I am a "first impressions" kinda gal. If you screw up the first minute with me you have officially gained nothing but the stink eye from me for eternity.

I would prefer to enter places with Danny. I do not like the idea of going somewhere with my herd and people thinking I am a single mother.  No disrespect to the fabulous single mothers I know. They work hard. Unfortunately I know a few single Mothers who play harder and forget they have children. When I am out with this bunch alone, I think their thoughts probley go something like this. "Look at that woman. She has 4 kids. Oh my gawd. They are all boys. I bet they have different Daddy's. Probaley just had all those kids to live off the government. Look, she is flashing that wedding band like she wants us to see it. It's probley just a ploy. I'd bet money she sits home on her arse and watches soaps all day while living off child support and food stamps". You get the idea.....

We sit at our booth, which I requested. Peyton traps Eli in the inside and I trap Zac. Evyn is the head of our table in a high chair. Right off the bat the fight begins over the one bucket of peanuts. 4 kids. One bucket. Shit, it didn't enter my mind that this would be a issue. They must have planned this maneuver on the way here to throw me off my game. Sneaky little herd.

We order our drinks. Eli demands root beer in a bottle. The waitress very kindly looks at me and says "there are no free refills on bottles. It's be a better idea for him to pick another soft drink to save you a little." I agreed with this woman. Not because I cared to pay for a second flippen bottle of root beer for Eli but because I knew he only wanted a bottle because the man next to us was enjoying a Bud. Eli just wanted to feel old. I knew this. He was irritated that I ask for a coke for him, and that she agreed to bring it. When she turned to walk away he threw his peanut shells over her head.

Ordering the food was no walk in the park. It was late afternoon and Eli's AD/HD meds were wearing thin in his little ornery body. He threw a fit when I made him and Pey half a full order of ribs as opposed to buying two half orders and paying double. Of course the waitress witnessed these fits of rage.

In the end Evyn got his ice cream float and a song. Zackary cried because he wanted it to be his birthday. The waitress brought him one, too. Eli was a disaster. His ribs were not cooperating and getting his hands too dirty for his liking. The 4x4 hand wipes they brought just didn't cut it.  Poor Pey. He had been helping me keep Evyn seated and was worn out. I feel confident these trips are great birth control for Pey. I don't feel like he will ever go uncovered later in life (much later I hope) after our Coltons trip.  Throw in some normal bickering among brothers and you've got a recipe for embarrassment.

The waitress brought me my ticket and informed me she didn't charge me for several items. Wonderful. This poor woman thinks we crawled out from under a rock to eat out on this child's birthday. She felt bad for charging me. I bet she thought I was spending diaper money so these kids could have their first sit down meal. 5 people ate that night at a steak house for under 30 bucks. Suckers!!!

A REAL Top Toys List and The Guard Was Not Required

Every year all the major stores produce their own list of top toys for year. I'm not sure where they pull these stats from but I never  pay mind to them anymore. Usually they are over priced pieces of plastic that are a huge waste of money. I decided to use my 13 years experience as a Mommy to make my own top toys list. Some are old toys and some are a few things I actually just discovered this year and some are not  toys. I have to include a couple electronics since I am rounding the corner of having a teenager in less than a month. They are in no particular order. I think they they are each equally fantastic.

The first is the Aqua Doodle. We have had 4 of these and they are great little inventions. The kids love them. The 2 year old all the way to the 13 year old has been caught playing with these. No batteries. No mess. No noise. Win win.

Next is a trampoline/net. We have also has a few of these. Their only con is they take flight in strong winds. They have gotten less expensive from the first one we had 11 years ago. The nets make them safe for the 2 year old as well. We have had 3 and will have another. If it takes flight we will replace it as well. Love love love them.

Having all boys you won't find barbies or baby dolls on my list but you will find Die Cast toys. The little plastic tractors, trucks, cars, lawn mowers, trailers, ect. are crap even if they say John Deere on the package. Don't waste your money. Always buy die cast and they will have them till they have children of their own.

Next is the Apple iPod. Not exactly a toy for younger ones. My oldest has one and so do I. You must buy a Otter Box for them. They are fragile but these nifty little protective cases make them virtually immune to drops and spills.

The next I just bought for Christmas this year and only have a few hours experience with it. So far I am very impressed. No pieces to keep up with except one little laser type pen. Its called a Glow Crazy. I got Eli a travel one and one to play with at home. Eli and I have taken turns. Amazing little pen and glow paper that sticks to the walls and makes them a huge drawing board.

I also adore the Crayola easels. We have had two of these as well. Wonderful for the little artist in the family.

Sidewalk chalk will be a toy that is always readily available in my home as well as bubbles. We have bubble machines, bubble guns, bubble lawnmowers, ect. Great for all ages and great got getting the family together for photographs. Bubbles are timeless and can even be made at home. I must admit tho, I buy the Gazillion brand bubbles. They are a bit expensive but make THE BEST bubbles ever!!

The last 2 is the Wii and the Xbox 360 Kinect. I can't decide between the two. We have both and they each are great for different things. The Kinect does require much more space to play then the Wii but the Wii still requires the hand held remotes. If you can't have both then depending on the age of your children I'd suggest one or the other. The Wii belongs to our 5 year old and the Kinect is great for the 8 year old and up.

I'd love to hear about your favorite toys as well.

Hope you each had a great Holiday. Ours was great. Breakfast with Santa at Chaney's Dairy Farm was great as always.  My family dinner went off without incident. The National Guard was not called in. Thecompliments on the food and the house made my head so big I barely could fit through the doorways. :)
The house was full of kids and family. I could not have wished for a better couple of days with my tribe.

Tree is already down. I waste no time taking down decor. I thought I'd leave it up a few extra days this year but my OCD would not allow it. It was giving me the shakes. (hahahaha)

No food at all was left over. People took plates home for lunch today as well. When they ask for to go plates it really must be good, right?

We Deep Fried our Turkey and we will never fix one any other way. 14 pound turkey, GONE!

Now that Christmas is over I have 2 important birthdays coming up. Peyton turns 13 and Evyn turns 2. 13 is a bitter pill for us to swallow and Evyn's will be Bitter Sweet as well. My miracle baby boy.

Lots of peace and love to each of you. I hope you are all bubbling over with it as much as us tonight.

Hope you enjoy pictures from our weekend.

I was a girl once.

 I have four boys. I don't think I have mentioned that for several months in my posts. Peyton wasn't planned but he wasn't being prevented. Eli was the biggest surprise of my four. And continues to be, still. Zackary was planned and he took the most time to accomplish. Evyn was planned and I was pregnant by the next week, or so it seems. A daughter was always a little pink thought in the back of my mind but I never honestly thought I'd be a good mother to a daughter. I am rough around the edges, but I've mentioned this before.  I always thought I'd be a better mother to boys. I can't help but still have those little pink thoughts especially around the Holidays. I guess it's because Mom and I always went shopping this time of year for a new Christmas dress. Usually it was red velvet and patton leather black shoes. I should hunt up a picture of one of those dresses.

That seems like so many years ago. It was. Twenty-five. I was rather girlie back then. Complete with lace, ruffles, bows and ringlet curls in my waist long hair. Please and thank-you was in my vocabulary daily. What happen, you ask?  Got older. Thought I knew everything. To big for dress shopping with Mom. I was more interested in  Mr. Wrong. The first one came along at age 16. I desperately needed to put my trust into someone, anyone. Other than my parents. No need in naming names. They know who they are. Mom knew from the beginning that something was wrong with him. The more she preached about him the more I wanted to prove she was wrong. I talked to him day and night. Hours on end. He knew me better than anyone had in my life up till that point. He was different but I needed a connection so badly that I over looked a lot in the beginning. When he was nice, he was one of a kind. Perfect hair. Built body. My friends were envious. His parents thought I hung the moon and I them. His friends took me under their wing and being 16 it was great to know so many people had my back.

He came to visit alot on Sundays. Normally when I returned from church  with my parents he would be sitting on the porch swing outside waiting on me. He knew my schedule better then I did. He knew when I left, and when I returned. He knew my work schedule, school schedule, home schedule. I had told him. I had no reason not to. Not only did he know every detail of my life, but my parents life as well. Isn't it funny what we think will last forever at age 16. There wasn't anything I didn't think I could share with him.

The first time he hit me was several months into dating. I had just returned home from church with my parents. It was a Wednesday night. He was upstairs waiting for me in my bedroom. He knew how to get into the house. I had enabled him. He stored away information like a storage drive.

It startled me that he was there without my knowledge, and I was going to tell. It didn't take long for him to convince me my parents would be angry with me for sharing important information with him. The location of spare keys, hours they were gone, ect..  I was grabbed and shook, then hit for even mentioning he had no business there. I don't think details of the rest of the nights events are necessary. Just know these unannounced visits happen often. Usually he was drunk or high and forgot how he got there. Normally someone dropped him off but sometimes he hide his mothers car in various places that I would have to find the next morning. From the first time he hit me I wanted to end it but he wouldn't allow it. Just like everyone preaches he promised to do better, never let happen again, or he done it cause he loved me so. I was left having to sneak him out of the house the next morning and get him home. I was either late or missed school so many days that year because of him that I lost my license and almost failed that year of school. Just because I rode the bus or with friends to school didn't stop him from hiding in my home while we were gone. I was till responsible for trying to get him home. sometimes I couldn't and would go through the whole day knowing what was waiting for me when I came home. Mom and Dad have a huge home. It was easy for him to hid all day long even if someone was home.  I see now so many ways I could have escaped such torment but I was so young and stupid then. He stole things from me. Money, clothes, cd's. things from my room that he knew Mommy wouldn't miss. Only me. He demanded my whole pay check at times and if I did not hand it over he threaten to tell my parents that I was allowing him to stay nights with me. That I had ask him too and threaten to tell them he thought they were aware. How stupid was I. Don't answer that. I already know. One of the times I tried to end things with him he piled all my clothes on top of my bed and poured finger nail polish all over them then locked himself in my bathroom. When he came out he was bleeding profusely from his arms and wrist. He had cut himself with my razor. He spent a month in a hospital after I told his mother what he had done. I snuck him out to his mother in the middle of the night. She too thought my parents were ok with this arrangement.  During that time I finally had relief from the torture. Isn't it odd what we endure to keep from disappointing and hurting the ones we love. I didn't want my parents to know that I had told him to much, especially when my Mommy told me what he was about from day one.

The last time it happen I came home from school and didn't go straight upstairs. The phone rang and it was a friend. Male. We talked a while and I went upstairs to begin homework. The second I walked in the door I was slapped and whipped repeatedly with a telephone cord. He had gotten out of the hospital and I didn't know it. He had heard the telephone call and I had no idea. The next day I took him home and was hit all the way to his house. I had to pull over several times to wipe tears and clear my head so I wouldn't wreck. He had never hit me where it could be seen but this time he did. My head bounced off the driver side window several times. He busted out my windshield. This was not the first time he had damaged my car. That happen on several occasions. Usually when he had waited for me to get off work to speak to me and I'd refuse. He always dented or busted something before I could drive off. I always made excuses to my parents as to what happen to it.

I don't know why he never intruded my home again after that day. I'd like to think it was something I'd said or done to scare him away but I doubt that was the case. I'd like to say I finally told my parents that he had been sneaking into our home for months and destroying my pride and taking my dignity. I didn't. There are many things they should know about my childhood and teenage years but they don't. I never told them. I was afraid. I wanted them to be proud of me so badly.

So, this is just one of the reasons I don't think I should have a daughter. I don't think I have what it takes anymore. I'm not nice. I don't feel or have emotions. I think the last time I really cried was on that drive home when my head bounced off the car window a dozen times. That was 1997. I don't feel pity for people. I don't like whining, crying and drama.

I'd ruin a girl. I'd never want a little girl to grow up as cold and rigid as I am. I have to really catch myself even with the boys. Allow them to hurt and have feelings and emotions. I fuss at them a lot for showing emotion and for that, I'm sorry. At least one day they can have my blog and understand why I am the way I am. Until then, I am trying real hard to be a better Mother and allow them to be their own person.

Why did I think to write this tonight? I guess because I passed a little red velvet dress in a store a couple days ago and pink thoughts have been floating around in my head ever since. If I could only go back 25 years and do a few things differently. Having my 4 boys would NOT be something I changed!!!!

Little Bipolar Boy Who Cried Wolf

Here's the thing with my Bipolar child, he wouldn't know the truth if it was staring him in the face and he love to argue. If I told him the sky was blue he would argue it was orange and swear on a stack of Bibles to it. Over the years I have learned his lying signs. He can't for the life of him look me in the eye when he's lying. I always pick at him about it too. Sometimes now if he tries real hard he can pull one over on me.

The last few days he has complained of a ear ache and sore throat. I played into his complaints by giving Tylenol and sore throat spray. It never one time crossed my mind to take him to the Dr. He makes daily trips to the school nurse to ditch class. It's always been this way for years. Sore throat, head ack, tummy ache, itchy spot, big toe hurts, ect. I let him stay home yesterday but did not really take his complaints serious. Today was the same way. He woke up and was complaining. I dressed him and intended to make him get on the bus and go. He began to cry. He cries a lot but especially when he is mad. It's a very angry cry. Today his school was taking a trip to see a play. I assumed he was having some crowd anxiety and did not want to attend the play. I told him the only way he was staying home would be if we went to the Dr.,  and he welcomed the idea. I threaten him with in a inch of his life that if we got there and he was faking I'd be one mad Mommy. (that was not my exact words)

What did we discover at the Dr? Double ear infection. I SUCK! He has complained for days and I have let it go in one ear and out the other. No pun intended. The child has lied so much that I let him lay here sick for days and it never crossed my mind to take him to the Dr.

He took his first dose of Antibiotics at lunch. By 5 pm he was puking. I don't normally investigate the contents of puke but something about this puke scared the hell out of me. It was blood tinged. After a few phone calls we decided he must have ulcers. He sure is no stranger to strong medications and they have simply ruined his poor little stomach. I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring but I do know he can't take any more medications till we get to the bottom of this. The puking has stopped. I feel like the antibiotics was too strong for his little empty stomach. A couple years ago I would have stopped all medications and put my foot down. I have grown and became much more knowledgeable now and know he can't thrive without them for many days. Stuck, between a rock and hard place.

Before Eli's Dr appointment I had one of my own. I have never been one to take care of myself. I'm older tho, and it's high time to start. I suppose during Mom's darkest days I completely ran myself ragged and still have not completely recuperated. I had a complete blood workup done today. I'm hoping for a simple case of the lazies. Either way I'm sure it's nothing some B12 and Iron can't cure.

So now I lay here in the bed with a slight essence of vomit in the air, and blog. Thank goodness for this blogging stuff that I've discovered. It's such a fantastic was to empty my thoughts and have no judgement cast on me. At least not from my most dedicated readers who seem to think I'm some sort of Super Mom. Far from it! No one makes flat jokes. I'm taken serious and not laughed at. You laugh with me when the time is right but never at me. Thank you. Today's events have made me mad, made me feel like a shitty mother, scared me, made me sigh in relief and giggle at times. I'm glad I can share them with you. You all have became my escape. I hope you each have a wonderful Thanks Giving. Today I am thankful for my readers who support me in our journey to LIVE with Bipolar.

Replacement Batters

 Why start something that's just going to cause me more stress and disappointment. That's my train of thought today. School was a lovely idea but that's where it belongs. Just as a idea in my head. I can only do one thing well at a time and at this time it's being a mother most days and a daughter the rest. Some can do it. I am not one of those. I have no doubts my kids would suffer for it. I don't even have time to study for the Placement test. Why on Earth I thought I'd have time to attend class is beyond me. I'm going to gracefully bow out. Hey....ya never know maybe when Evyn starts school in a couple years the situation will be different. Show me a woman with 4 small children, one of which is a 20 month old and a business to run who kicked butt in college and I'll consider changing my mind. Oh, and she can't have a baby sitter either. :)  I seriously doubt anyone of you who really know me are suprised that I backed out.....again. It's ok you can laugh at me. I always seem to have ideas that are bigger than I am. Hey, a gal can dream.

  Now, back to the real world. Mom is on the back side of this Manic Episode. It's still a uphill battle every day for her but she's doing it!! Climbing. I am watching her over come this and I am so proud of her. Most would have crawled under a rock and gave up. Not her tho. I don't think she recalls alot of the events from the last several weeks but that's for the best. The past does not matter. What's important is she came out swinging. And when she could not swing anymore, she had people who loves her that swung for her.  That's what friends and family are for. Replacement batters. 

  We found a truck. Unfortunately we are looking at a week before it's transferred into Danny's name. Lots of bank issues, red tape and signing papers. If I understand correctly it currently has a lean on it and that sorda thing takes time to release.

  I have been sitting on Luke Byron tickets for a month. Thursday is the night. Looks like I won't be attending tho. We are so broke we have been walking to Mom's. The walking won't hurt me none tho. I could stand to loose a few pounds. Danny has been home 2 weeks and insist on buying Cokes. When they are in the house I have to drink them. I have no will power. I never have. That's why I have quit smoking about 6 times. Even up to a year, then started back.

  Eli is doing well. He is in a bit of a manic phase himself. He was up all last night. Tonight he had a sedative. Mommy is on the same sedative as well. They work well for the most part if the patient isn't extremely manic. During the week Mom was so severe and was up almost 200 hours a horse tranquilizer wouldn't have put her down. I have not experienced this type of mania with Eli.......yet. I feel prepared tho.

  Peyton quit basketball. Hunting season has rolled around and he found it interfered entirely to much with deer season.

  Zac is doing fantastic. Learning to read!! He reads to me everyday.

  Evyn is like a weed. He grows in his sleep. He is in to everything. Climbing, talking, fusing, breaking things, and needing less and less sleep. I am seeing some AD/HD in him. I know you may think it's impossible to see at such a young age, but you would be mistaken. We call him Little Eli. And for good reason.

  So, that's the Smith Gang in a nutshell over the last couple of days. Hope you guys had a good Monday.

 
 

Maybe I was wrong. (notice I said maybe)

    I bought a $2.00 lottery ticket yesterday. It was a $4.00 winner. I was was feeling lucky and took my $4.00 and bought two more $2.00 tickets.............when I should have just been happy with my $2.00 profit cause the other 2 tickets were LOSERS! Why do we always want more? Do we ever reach a point when we stop looking and wanting more and being happy with what we have? Life is not a lottery game. We should be happy with what we have and stop always trying to double it. I do this. You do this. And now my child does this.
   Peyton has reached that age where it's all about what you have, what you ware, what you drive, ect. I spent a couple hours today giving him a speech on why material things are not important. Why having things to brag about  are not important.
   He informed me today he wanted to leave and go live with his Daddy. When I ask him why he said because he had a four wheeler there, he didn't have to do chores, no one bothered him there, he would be a only child and able to have more, and because I fuss at him too much.
   I thought about this a while. His explanations. And I have decided I am much of the reason he is the way he is. Yes, we all want more. Take the lottery ticker for example. Yes, I do make him do chores. So he can earn money and buy more of the things he wants. Yes, I do stay on his ass all the time about doing right, getting good grades, talking with his teachers, cleaning his room. being good to his brothers, ect. But only cause I want him to go far in school and in life and go to college and get a good job so he can have MORE. There's that word again. It seems now I have created a little monster. All this time have I been doing wrong by him? Should a child just be a child and have no responsibilities? I am a big girl and can take constructive criticism. I'd really like a answer on this one.

14,000 reasons Xanax should be available over the counter.

Today I discovered a used book store in Glasgow. The most expensive book there I bought today was 5 bucks, and the least expensive was $1.50. I picked up a little book that I thought would help me enjoy the little things a bit more. These days I need help.  It was titled 14,000 Little Things That Make Me Happy. I read a few pages and the only inspiration I got was realizing all the little things that irritate me. I thought I'd make my own little list and add to it as time goes on. Who knows........maybe in 20 years I'll publish it as well.

1. dust
2. smudgy prints on my hardwood
3. toothpaste in my sinks
4. ironing
5. when I ask a question and am ignored, all tho sometimes the answers are more irritating then if the question had of just been left unanswered
6. surprises. period.
7. when the bottom of my foot itches, but I'm happy I have feet
8. Carrie Underwood. Period.
9.  repeating myself
10. hypocrites (I'd love to start naming names here but I suppose there's no need in embarrassing anyone. I doubt they ever thing to look at something I'd write anyway because people like me are a waste of their precious time.
11. being interrupted
12. knowing a name on the tip of my tongue and not being able to remember it, but isn't it a blazing glory when it pops in your head 2 days later while your mopping smudgy footprints off the hardwood floor
13. pumping gas
14. when there is no hot water left
15. sunburns
16. a buggy (aka a shopping cart) with a bum wheel
17. splinters
18. starting the kids bath water only to realize a second too late that the shower plugger puller thingie was still in the upright position
19. whining
20. complaining
21. lies
22. wrinkles in my sheets
23. when I'm out of paper towels
24. hollering
25. slow drivers
26. the dried ketchup, mustard, ect. around the opening of the bottles
27. laziness
28. ppl eating while they are on the telephone with me
29. ppl talking to someone else while I am on the phone with them
30. a overflowing garbage
31. ppl who quote the bible to try and prove that their opinion is correct
32. ppl who leave one last drink in the bottom of a two liter knowing it's only spit by this point
33. Walmart on the 1st-10th
34. forwarded tx messages and emails
35. ppl who call interested in a puppy and talk for a hour before they have spoken to their spouse
36. cold checks
37. rap music
38. dingy white socks
39. snoring
40. crooked picture frames
41. heartburnn
42. ramen noodles
43. dirty fingernails
44. carpet
45. when Peyton screams in a octave that makes him sound like he has a hoohaa


                               to be continued..........

It won't be this way for long.

Today is Monday, but that's not how I'm referring to it. It's the boys 3rd day of school. Monday, the word, is meaningless.
Eli seems to love school this year, so far. He thrives the best in structure. I done my best to have that this Summer, but I am no where close to as good as a teacher is. Kuddos to Ms. Haley. He seems to be doing wonderful.
Peyton's lovely attitude has surfaced again. I don't know why school always brings out the worst in him. I do believe the the source of the problem was made clear last night tho, and I sincerely hope I nipped it in the arse before it got out of hand like last year. I do have one question tho regarding this. Metcalfe County, are you so hard up for money that you just let any child back into your facility without regard to the chaos, grief and gossip she has caused and will continue to cause? Seriously!
Zackary. This has been hard on him. And me too. The first day he was so excited and ready to take on the world. The second and third (today) not so much. he has said some of the most heart wrenching things. "I don't wanna go to school Mommy, I miss you too much" "I'm too little to go to school" was today's latest tear jerker.

He tried very hard to cry silently this morning. His quite little tears made me have quite little tears. Tears are a chain reaction. Sorry Ms. Becky. We didn't mean to make you cry first thing on a Monday morning. I was told "it won't be this way for long."

So, now it's just me and Evyn. He's sitting beside me on the couch looking at the computer screen as if he is reading every word.

My Mommy called me and ask me to help her in the garden today. I was reminded of the my blog entry a couple weeks ago. I have been sick for 6 weeks and had every intention on seeing a actual Dr. today as opposed to having something called in, again. But, my Mommy called and what she asks for, she gets! I would never dream of making a excuse to her, no matter how good it may be.

Today's entry is short and to the point. School has started and I have 4 boys whom are reacting to it 4 very different ways.

How is it going y'alls way?

*Four the Boys

Monday, winding down.

I just wanted to share a few statistics with y'all before I call it a night. (numbers may have been exaggerated, but it don't feel like it)

I ask Peyton to put his iPod away while we ate supper  5 times. I told him to PLEASE put his clothes up 3 times. I ask him to come in and take a shower 4 times. He ask me to wash his favorite cap, once.

 I ask Eli to come in 3 times before finally threatening him with a spanking and counting to three. (does counting to 3 really make us a adult or lower us to a 7 year old level?) I ask him to shower 4 times, and get back in the bed 12 times. I am still counting. He ask me to peel him a orange, once.

Zackary was ask 2 times to come inside. (he's a good child, almost) I asked him 3 times to please sit on his bottom at the supper table. I lost count after the 6th time I ask him  to shut the water off and get out of the shower. He ask me to fix him some chocolate milk, once.

Evyn. Oh, my Evyn. (please no cracks about how spoiled he's gonna be. I call him my miracle baby for reasons that most of y'all know. I'll tell you that story sometime when I feel like drinking crying.) I ask him to get off the table 48 times today. (he had gotten back on it when I  put him to bed) I told him to stop playing in the camode 17 times. Stop taking his diaper off 7 times and no playing in his poop 3 times. He looked and me with those big blue eyes and said Ba Ba, once!

Night all.