The last few days have been a complete flop. I have done absolutely nothing except be incredibly lazy. I'm blaming sinuses and mad cow.
Yesterday I had intended to take the kids to the football game and balloon launch, but decided since Danny travels all the time it wasn't fair to drag him to something he cared nothing about. I'll make it up to the boys and had intended to today by taking them to the car show at Sulphur Well, but Peyton is still sulking because I broke a promise to take him to the game and decided to spend the day with Grandparents. I can't win for loosing. I try very hard to suit everyone but am failing miserably.
School is going smoothly. Mornings and evenings are hell, tho. I'm happy teachers get to see my sweet cooperative Eli but wish I could see him some, too.
Our morning conversation goes something like this:
Eli-- I don't wanna get up let me sleep turn the light off can I ware my UK shirt let me take my ipod to school I hate school do we go see Mark today make Zac hurry up I need to pee I need $3.00 for break money today all my pencils are messed up why did you buy me those anyway you knowd those would jam up and I hate this shirt it chokes me cause something is stuck in my tooth where that cap is trying to come off and you said you'd take me to the dentist my friend takes his iPod all the time why can't I take mine the other kids will make fun of me and it"ll be your fault I just wanna go back to bed if you don't give me $3.00 make Peyton stop looking at me he is smiling and I hate him and I hate school and i hate this shirt tie my shoes you knowd I can't tie shoes why do you get me shoes with strings I can't tie and shirts that choke me do I have to ride the bus I'm tard and I don't wanna ride the bus but i will if i can take my iPod and have and have $3.00.
Me-- Eli please get up and take your medicine.
Eli-- I will take my medicine if you get me some coke I hate water it taste bad and it makes the pills stick in my throat you never buy me coke I would act better if you buy me coke and give me $3.00 a day to take to school and I need to take Zac's glove to school today because I lost mine and I have to have one today or I'll be in trouble and it'll be your fault cause Peyton is still smiling at me cause I look stupid in this shirt and it chokes me when I get home can I swim and will you get me a coke today if you go to the store just use the $3.00 that you were about to give me today for break.
Please keep in mind this is a example of 3 minutes or less. There's a hour more of this......I realize there are no periods. For good reason. There is never a period when Eli speaks. Only short quick pauses to catch his breath.
As for Zackery, he never talks. Just cries and begs to stay home. He says the day is to long and he just wants to stay home with me.
Peyton gets the crappy end of the stick. He is at such a crucial age and needs more then me. I try to be everything and everyone that he needs but with siblings like he has, it's just not fair. It's not fair to me or him. I hate to use the word normal......but honestly........I know he wishes he had a sibling that was normal. But instead he hides from home so he is sure not to get in trouble for acting like a big brother. He can't play with Zac because Zac has no sense of humor and he can't play with Eli because Eli couldn't be pleased if Peyton were the last human being on Earth. I think I'm the only person who would care if Peyton took up permanent residence elsewhere. And Peyton senses that. I try to be his Momma, his Daddy, his brother and his friend and I'm failing miserably at those things as well.
So today I am locked in the house with the three little ones and thinking. Is there something else I can do to make everyone happy. Is there something else I love that I can let go of to make someone else happy. What else can I do to make this house more like a home for everyone. Egg shells are becoming extremly uncomfortable on Peyton's feet.