Wednesday, December 31, 2014

New Years, Induction and Nasty Bedrooms.

ENew Years Eve. Is that today? My gosh. 

It's 7:30 and Eli is sleeping (thank you, thank you, thank you Risperdal)
Evyn is putting Germ X on his body like lotion. And Zac is having a "unhinged" moment because "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" just played on the television and my God don't they know that was last week and Aspergers children can't take that sort of ignorant accidental nonsense from a major television network?! 

It is a New Years Eve miracle I survived today. Eli forgot his medication. But on the upside, he ran hisself so ragged today (mentally and physically) that he passed out by 7pm. 

I took a photo of something earlier that I wanted to share that I thought was a interesting peek into our life. It's no secrete that I am serverly OCD. I have a hard time letting the kids just be kids when it comes to making messes and their bedrooms. I am getting better. I have trained myself to let him play and then have them clean their rooms before they go to bed. That way we both win. Most days I don't even have to ask anymore. Zackary prefers his room very neat. Evyn sometimes gets carried away but will pick it up without making a fuss. Eli on the other hand..........well you can guess which room is his. He don't care. He has no respect for any person, place or thing. It's so aggravating when I want him to "feel" something. Anything. But he feels nothing it seems. My question tonight is how do you train a child to have a conscience? Is it even possible? 

Now, on to the fun news. 
My appointment with My Np yesterday went ok. I still don't have many answers to the suspiciou lump under my left arm. I know I've not disclosed anything about that and won't until I have some sort of solid explanation. All I know right now is there's a rather large lump there. Antibiotics didn't change it really. And I opted to not have any further testing until The Queen arrives. There's a chance it's an angry mammary gland in which case I will know that soon. 
Maggie says she will try her best to accomdate my wishes and have a planned induction. Evyn had to be induced but she says that doesn't mean this one will too. She could come on her own. But if she hasn't by the 17th then I can opt for a planned induction anytime after that (39 weeks). I don't want to be pregnant that much longer. But I sure love the "planned" part. 

I have plans made for labor/birth photography. That's a perk to having a new Dr. this rodeo. I can have more then one person in the delivery room. I'm very excited about this gals first breaths captured by my bestest good friend. ;)

Now, I know it's New Years Eve......and I was invited to come to a few events but I'm choosing to hit the pillow and text the husband till I pass out sometime around 2 a.m..

Have a safe and happy new year. Ohhhh.....and here's the photo of the bedrooms we chatted about earlier....
And I don't want to leave out The Queens room. I've been working on it today as well. Yes it's the third change but this one is gonna stick. I adore the coral and turquoise.

Monday, December 29, 2014

End of the year wrap up.....

Time is dwindling down and I'm ashamed that I have only blogged a couple times during this whole pregnancy. What a special time I should have tried to capture a little better. I have gotten some pretty adorable photos. What did we older mothers do before phones and social media and all this technology that allows us to stay in touch with others in the same boat as us? It's so easy now to do video clips, photos, voice notes.......there's no reason any special moment should not be documented yet here I am fixing to make excuses as to why I've not done a better job. 

I am so very glad Christmas is over. Sadly I don't even really have many photos of Christmas. The kids were all unhappy for different reasons and we each had just barely recovered from the stomach flu. And I do mean every one of us. There were not enough bathrooms in the house to accommodate all of us. We each started vomiting about an hour or two apart. It was like some crazy sh#t off the exorcist. I really would not have been surprised if my water broke during one of my episodes of puking up my toenails. Danny and I both looked like we'd been in a fight, busted blood vessels in our eyes and all. 
Mom cooked a huge dinner on Eve as always and even the smell turned my stomach. I didn't touch any form of solid food for several days. 

Now, back to the sulking children. 
Eli is at that age where I don't think he believes in Santa anymore but he's afraid to say it out loud for fear his number of gifts might decrease. Zackary believes and doesn't understand how Santa could possibly not know the difference between Silver Sonic and Super Sonic. Thank you Aspergers for throwing that wrench in Christmas morning. Next time I'll be sure to do my homework before making that mistake again. 

Eli stole a box of matches from Mom and Dads house and got caught playing in the garage with them. I can't remember if I've gone into much detail about his alarming interest in fire before so if I haven't's the facts. He loves fire. Matches. Lighters. Rubbing two sticks together. Any show, movie, video, ect. that shows one how to survive and make fire with no resources. He's been caught setting my carpet in the house on fire, his matress, the floors at Granny's house and various others places and objects. So being caught with a box of matches on Eve did not end well for Eli. They each got Green Machines for Christmas and he was not allowed to even ride his when everyone else did. Of course he twisted it and tried to justify his choices and make us out to be over reacting as always. One day I sure hope he can make a mistake and take responsibility for that mistake. Right now it seems like only a meer dream. 
He was mad most of the day too because Santa didn't bring Survival Knives, Flint Rock (to start fires ya know) and an ax for him. He claimed it was the worst Christmas ever.  Between him and Zackary the day was a disaster. I suppose if an outsider where to have been a fly on the wall that day they would have thought I really had some selfish spoiled kids. And to a extent I do. But at the same time their mental frames of mind are making it very difficult to have many great memorable moments these days. 

As for little Evyn he was thrilled. He was happy enough for everyone. 

Peyton wasn't here. He is still with his Dad and I don't much blame him anymore. He spent the weekend and Eve with us and Christmas Day with his Dad. 

 Eli sure makes life here pretty dam difficult these days. I often wonder how miserable a child has to be inside their little heads to want to constantly be trying to get a negitive reaction from someone. Anyone. It's like he has to be screamed at to breath. It's as if beloved the constant turmoil he puts us in. Through the warmer months we simply left when he got out of hand. But now that it's cold, the baby is almost here and I have no energy.....we can't just throw on flip flops and go for a walk anymore away from him. We are trapped. Ugh. 
Any advice from parents in similar situations would be great. If you have "normal" children and want to offer it. I know you mean well but it's not helpful. Unless your child has set the house on fire more then once then I have no interest in how you raise them. gal is on her way. She's what Danny like to refer to as "locked and loaded". My due date isn't till the 24th but, considering each of my babies outweighed the last by a pound I'm hoping my NP induces early. Evyn was nearly 9 pounds and I really don't want to birth a Linebacker. 

Nows the time of year for Resolutions. So let's hear them..........

Mine is to enjoy life more. Scream less. Start running (since I layed down cigarettes last June). And go somewhere new in the Spring. I try not to set to high of expectations on the year that way I don't fail at them. Honestly, running may never happen. I'd be happy with a fast pace walk. ;)

I hope each of you had a peaceful Holiday and the New Year is kind to you and yours.