Tuesday, September 24, 2013

We Are Not Your Trophys.

Something happen yesterday and sparked a thought. I won't mention names because I don't want to hurt feelings and step on toes, even though I really should not care much about upsetting this particular person.

First lets put the events of yesterday into perspective. Please know that they are related. Only by nature.

When I was a teen I had a high school crush the same as every other gal my age. It's safe to say I was eat up with a boy and for several years and the feeling not were not exactly mutual. I was used as a trophy. Paraded around when he needed truck seat candy or arm candy. When it came to really settling down and seriousness it was a no go. Eventually I became the go to gal when he needed a ego boost or a shoulder. Each time he came running for one of these things the thought was always in the back of my mind that maybe he was going to stay. Change. Be satisfied with me longer then a couple days. Finally after piecing myself back together about forty times I shook him off. I stopped answering calls and stopped answering the door. When his name was brought up in our circle I simple walked away. It took me 7 years.

Around the time he exited my life another man entered. Not a boyfriend figure but someone who's attention I longed for. I tried everyway I could think of to grab his attention and hold it but I failed at every attempt. Like the teenage crush, he popped in and out and never blinked. It always left me in shambles. As the years have passed I have learned how to take the "pop in's" for what they really are. But, these days, and yesterday.......he hit me where it hurts by "popping in" by means of my children. I know most of you are extremely confused and this post makes no good sense. I guess it's simply a documentation that I can look back on and remember how I felt this day. It's not fair. To use my children as trophy's. To brag to others about them as if he played any part in the young men they are growing into. As if they would even know him if they met him on the street. Part of me wanted to grab up that "pop in" and run with it. I almost suggested a visit. But then I remembered what it felt like to be young and long for the attention of someone only to be disappointed and left feeling not good enough. Not only could I not do that to myself, but certainly not to my children. The days of me making exerting myself to have a relationship with this man are over. If he wants to trophy me or my children around then he needs to put forth the effort. Honestly, I have swallowed the fact that that will never happen.

Monday, September 23, 2013

I Need a Vacation!

Vacation is over. We are home. I now need a vacation from last week.
The kids were fantastic for the ride down last Sunday. All smiles and giggles and glory. Monday morning was amazing. We arrived around sunrise and Danny and I were even excited to to be in Mobile Walmart at 430 a.m.. Everyone played on the beach all evening and in the pool then retired to their own room and slept in their own beds. It was as if Angels were singing and flying around their little heads. I could see a halo above Eli. Tuesday morning was similar to Monday but Tuesday evening the bottom dropped out from under it. The glory and angels was then hell and demonic creatures. Had it not been for Kerry I'm certain we would have given up and came home on Wednesday. Everyone but Evyn wanted to go home and he took it in spurts. We visited the Sea Lab and Fort Gains to try and keep them busy and happy but it was short lived. Danny and I slipped in some house hunting and a couple childless meals. We designated every night for quite walks on the beach after the kids gave up the griping and slept. I have several Nikon photos posted on FB. Check them out.

We stayed at the Holiday Isle this year and were super pleased with our condo. Last years was lovely for our first experience with a condo but this one was even nicer. The indoor and outdoor pool came in handy when tying to please all for hetherns. The more options the better. Kerry had her own space to retreat to. The boys had their own beds and no one had to share. Of course by night two I was on the sleeper sofa with Zackary because one night with his brothers was his limit. By the time I remembered to photograph our condo it was already a mess. Excuse the laundry and clutter please.

Fort Gains was really cool. Of course it was Danny's idea. Mine was the Sea Lab. (photos on FB) The boys enjoyed the Blacksmiths much more then the pickled sharks. Ugh.

Now it's back to the daily grind. Happy 2nd day of Fall.

We had a time avoiding the Moon Jellies. They eat us up!

Woodchipper, these pants came from Blue Revival. Love love love! I also took home a pair of the shoes with the yoga mat souls. Amazing!

Peyton figured out the Boogie Board stuff by day two. And has the scars to prove it.

Takes my breath!

One of my favs.

Our savior of the week! We love our Kerry!

I told him to take a photo with me and act normal.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Safe, Sober and Moral

Wanna tick people off.......express your opinion and wait.

There are much bigger things going on in the world, and like others I was sucked down into the world of Miley and her pathetic show for attention. Here's my two cents. I was not watching the awards show nor were my children. I never knew about this gross scene until a day or two later when FB was buzzing about it. I hate that she went down that road and made such a spectacle out of herself but seriously........did you expect any different out of her? She shaved her head months ago in some drastic attempt to be cool and apparently that wasn't enough "wow" for y'all. Those award shows never have anything fit for adults watch much less children and if you are one of the few whining and crying about your kids seeing that garbage then shame on you for letting them tune in to start with. There. I'm sure that went in one and out the other and your still going to gripe about how she has scared your daughters for life but seriously. It's not all on her shoulders.

Secondly this Syria stuff confuses me. I don't watch the news because I choose to completely shelter myself from the garbage. I don't know what's going on exactly and I wish I had not heard what bits and pieces that I have. My opinion on that for what it worth is, it's not our business. Maybe we are already over there, I don't know.

A couple days ago my oldest son was called by our neighbor to come help her get her sick husband in from the car. She had had him at the ER earlier where they gave him two pain shots and sent him home. He was too weak to make it inside from their car. When Peyton arrived he attempted to help him inside but our dear friend took his last breaths in Peyton's arms. That, my friends, is far more life experience than any 14 year should ever have. Today we paid our respects to him.  I found a photo of him from last year when he attended Granny's 90th Surprise Party.

Speaking of Granny, she isn't doing well. I have finally made arrangements for a company from Columbia to come a few day a week and help take care of her. It's a blessing. Ever minutes helps. She has absolutely no short term memory. She doesn't know the kids anymore. She asked me every day how many kids I have and her response always makes me laugh. She always asks and she always says "woooooooooooooo". Like it's the first she's heard of this each day. She can't remember what she ate for breakfast by the time she takes her last bite but she can recite a song she sang as a child word for word. Isn't it cruel how dementia eats away at it's victim like that. Picking and choosing what it tosses away and what it doesn't. Deciding what's important and what's not. Weaving and winding itself into her life not welcomed and it looks as though there's no slowing its progression. We started Aricept a couple months ago and it's soul job is to slow the progression but it's not done that. It just keeps coming with the vengeance. I bath her weekly now. At first I think this was such a disgrace to her but now she seems to enjoy it. I wash her back and she relaxes. We make jokes about all the times she gave me a bath and it lightens the mood. She's always been such a proud woman. She always says, "I never thought I'd have to be waited on like this". And I always tell her it's a honor to take care of her. And as long as I'm alive she will always stay in her home. I know things are going to change and change quickly. I've racked my brain to figure out how I'm going to take care of her in the months to come. If I am alive when she leaves this world I will hold her hand while she leaves here and she will leave her house only to enter her mansion in Heaven. I bet God has something spectacular waiting for her and when it's finished he will move her in. Until then, I will make her last days here as comfortable as possible and she will keep her dignity and grace.
Summer is over. Fall has arrived. September is my least favorite time of year. Something about the month is so sad for me. I think because I know the warmth is almost over. Night get cooler and leaves begin to turn. I'm glad we have started a new tradition of going on vacation to the beach this month.
Enjoy your Sunday and have a great week. We have entered the final countdown to vacation. The next blog will be a run down of our trip. In the words of Mrs. Polson.....keep it safe, sober and moral.