Monday, January 30, 2012

Success! Whatever It Takes. (as long as we don't loose money)

Brain Overload.

System Malfunction.

If I did not REALLY need a vacation before today, I seriously do now.

I try to do the school a favor. I take into consideration that a classroom of students need to concentrate and learn. I also take faculty and staff into consideration when Eli has terrible days.
I have made the choice 7 days this school year to keep Eli home when I felt it was in his best interest as well as the schools. It was clearly thought out. My strategy worked perfectly. I have great communication with his teacher and we keep his school work up to date so he does not fall behind. Our plan was working perfectly for everyone. Everyone, except for the gentleman who hold the position of "Director of Pupil Personnel & District Operations."

I was fortunate enough to receive a lovely letter in the mail today stating my child was a habitual truant and I'm subject to court proceedings. This letter came on stationary that states in bold letters at the bottom "SUCCESS! WHATEVER IT TAKES."

 Really? Is that so? Pardon me while I laugh hysterically.

I'm curious how this falls under the ADA. Check out the link.
Feel free to weigh in. My thought is I should be able to use my own discretion without having to get a doctors note every single time I keep him home.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The most important things I have learned in the last 13 years in no particular order......

1. Kids and especially brothers DO NOT share no matter what you try to teach.

2. If you have multiples you will need that exact number of electronics. (tv's, dvd players, xboxes,ect)

3. Despite your best efforts it's simple not in a child's genetic make-up to like vegetables no matter how you try to hide them in others foods.

4. Grape Kool Aid produces green poop. As does popsicles.

5. Sharing bedrooms may be economical but in the long run you will spend more in Mommy Juice and replacing broken items.

6. Sleep training is for dogs. Not children. If you are truly half as worn out as you claim to be you will let your child sleep wherever he chooses even if its in the middle of your bed with their toes separating your ribs.

7. If you are a new mother (or a old mother with 4) and someone offers to help or entertain your child for the evening for gawds sake, oblige them! 

8. When people say "sleep when your baby does" they are not talking to sound smart. In fact, this concept is brilliant.

9. Pick your battles.

10. Before you ground a child from the t.v. or video games be sure you can follow through with this punishment. I can not if I want any kind of peace.

11. Never enter a bathroom that a boy may have used barefooted at night. Stepping in pee goes with the territory.

12. Clear the path from your bedroom to your childrens bedrooms before you fall asleep. Even the smallest Lego will take you to your knees durning a midnight trip to refill a sippie cup.

13. Potty training in the Summer is indeed the best idea. Children would must rather pee on trees and in grass than a camode.

14. If it's important, put it up. Don't just put it high. Placing things out of reach only makes reaching these things a game. You WILL loose.

Friday, January 27, 2012

So, apparently I'm supposed to start keeping a journal and turn in 5 entry's a week. I'm wondering if printed blog entry's count. Blogging and a journal both could get a bit hectic. Guess we will have to see whats acceptable.

Today was a difficult day. I'm running on no sleep. A person never gets use to not sleeping. They make think they do because they begin to require less and less to function during a day but it takes a toll. Weight loss is my problem. Maybe because no sleep makes me senile and I forget to eat. Just a idea.
Evyn cut me no slack today. I thought I'd share the ride he has taken me on today.

Our day began at 5:30a.m.. 5:30 is no big feat except I was up quite late reading entirely too many pages explaining how to write a descriptive essay. Yay. I'm not a essay writer. I'm no good at drafts and proof reading. My thoughts spill out and I have no clue how to organize them. Sink or swim tho, right? See, I'm already off the subject matter.

Evyn. 5:30 a.m.. This child has been slow at the trigger for a few days and it's been easier to keep up with his disasters. Today he was back on his game. Hiding silverware, playing with electrical outlets, climbing in the sinks, eating toothpaste. Oh....toothpaste. That reminds me. This child has a toothbrush fetish. He loves to brush his teeth but not nearly as much as he loves to splash in the camode water with our toothbrushes. Rule of thumb, if the toothbrush is not in the exact place we left it when we used it last it's just best to throw it away for safe measure.

This afternoon he really outdone himself. While I was taking a moment to speak on the telephone (another rule of thumb, "don't talk on the phone and let Evyn see it". He warps into some destructive demon and tally's how much he can do before I can hang up the phone) he managed to stuff the toilet with two towels then flushed it. Towels + toilet + flush = flood.
Times like these the Rainbow is a life saver. They are like a shop vac and can vacuum up liquid. While cleaning up after the great flood he slipped off to the Den and to Peyton's room and pulled ever book we own off the shelves. If I were to guess I'd say we own 200 books. Eli was gracious enough to help me clean the second disaster of the evening up. I wish I had thought to take a picture of this one as well.

While we were picking up after the great tornado Evyn decided to pour the dogs food and water bowl into my basket of freshly washed and dried whites. At this point I decided I needed to sit down and take a moment.

I am sitting with my iPod stuffed in my ears. The kids are speaking to me but I can't hear a word they say. Only lips moving. There comes a time in ever mothers day she just needs to treat her children the way they do her. Unfortunately I must go because Evyn is now beating his brother with a container of honey and a spatula.

Happy Friday.
I heard this and immediately had to send to link to all my country music lover friends. It's been a while since Alan has impressed me.

Today I wanted to share a text I received yesterday from a friend. This lady has became very dear to me. Just recently she battled Cancer and won. By far one of the strongest women I know. And by golly if she says that I can do this........I'm going to do it.

          Hope you don't mind me texting you, but I wanted to encourage you.
          No one will really pay attention to you in class. Go each day with
          the idea that you are just as good and smart as the next one. Be
          friendly and hang in there. Take it one bite at a time to eat this elephant
          (school)  and the semester will finally be over. It is 16 weeks (just
          seems like forever) Know you will have to let somethings go or you will
          get down on yourself. It's a lot but you CAN do it. So what if the house is not
          spic and span? It will wait. Keep us informed. I am rooting for you.

Thank you Jean. I love you. As I told you last night, it could not have came at a better time. I am proud of you for the elephant you ate. I am also proud to call you my friend.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I must take two minutes for myself. AKA two photographs.

 It dawned on me a couple days ago that I have not sat down to do the one thing I enjoy more than anything in this world in entirely too long. Photograph my boys.

 These tide over my urge for a while but the first chance we get I'm thinking......some beach.......somewhere. Eli isn't stable. He has been rapid cycling since Christmas. For a Bipolar adult rapid cycling is defined in the DSM as having four or more mood changes in one year. For a child the definition should be altered.  Fits of rage, happiness, depression, crying, ect. all wrapped up into a period of a few days. This frequency can also be  labeled as ultra rapid cycling. We saw a new Dr. last week and I'm hoping for better days to come. I decided several days ago that as soon as he has several good days in a row we are out here for a few days. We all need a break from doctors, teachers, work and responsibility's of our normal day to day routine. They need some warm sand between their satanic little toes and I need a drink in one hand and the camera around my neck.
 Happy Little Friday.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I Am Superwoman

There are days when I feel like I have things under control. Days that I can tackle anything that comes my way. Days I'm comfortable in my own skin. And then, there are days like today.

Yesterday went amazingly well. I had just a few hiccups adjusting to new surrounding and people but I over came the shear terror by allowing myself to see the humor in the young lady who sat beside me who's favorite word was "awesome". It helped tremendously that it was my Psyc class. I was in my element. My comfort zone. I know there is much more to gain knowledge of in that class but, I have interest and the want to know those things. Tuesdays are Reading and English. I don't have the "humpf" to sit through those but I knew if I could just tackle today that it would greatly decrease the fear of have of being surrounded by people I don't know without the distraction of actually being able to relate and listen to the instructor. If I made it through today I felt confident that next week would be better. Those of you who don't have the fear and anxiety of crowds and unfamiliar surrounding cannot possibly fathom how difficult it is to handle. The more people who enter the room, the more your anxiety will run you up a wall. Your heart races. You sweat like a whore in church. You skin crawls. And then comes the nausea. You are convinced you will projectile puke before you can find a bathroom. It's not pretty. I was siked tho. Ready for the day and ready to get it over with. After today, they wouldn't technically be compete strangers, right?

At 4 a.m I was awaken by Evyn having a Asthma attach. You know that all to familiar sound as a mother to children with Asthma but you never get used to it. All you want to do is snap your fingers and fill that child's lungs with air. The following days after a attack are never easy either. With my children they always are severely sick in the days to follow. The Strider is awful. If you don't know what I mean by Strider or Retractions, Google it. Today instead of sitting in that damn classroom conquering my stranger anxiety I will be sitting in a doctors office with a sick child. I will have to hold him tight while they give him Steroid shots. I will be picking up medications for his at home Nebulizer treatments. This is my job first and foremost. It does not change the fact that I will have to walk into a class next Tuesday where people are wondering who the hanner I am and why I didn't grace them with my presence today. Oh, I feel the nausea already. People of authority scare the day lights out of me and I have made a wonderful impression with the instructor right off the bat. Yay me.

Nice try Dear Tuesday, but your gonna have to pull out some bigger guns to bring me down today. I refuse to be defeated. And send a note to you other 6 friends. Tell Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday that they can kiss my arse, too. They have given me some crap over the last few weeks but I've had enough. No more BS will be tolerated from you seven. I am superwoman.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Twitter is a nice slice of bread. Join me.

I am quit sure Twitter is the next best thing to sliced bread. Of course I thought this  when I closed the Myspace a few years ago and went to Face Book.

It's quite. I can find what I want quickly with no childish bologna. Yay.

Look me up. @AccidentalXpert.

It takes a village to raise a child. I'd love your advice and I love to give it. I have learned over the years what works and what does not. I was reading a blog last night that I follow and she said it best. We learn from experience. We can read all the books, listen to all the Dr's and read about all the medications. But, in the end it's the one on one experience that has taught me the most. I have a lot of experience with alot of different medications, therapy, doctors, ect. I know realize no two children are the same but I also know that is it reassuring to know that someone else has been through this and survived. We are not only surviving, but we are laughing and enjoying our good days. Let me help you have more good days. Wow, that sounds like a medication commercial.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

*If you want to borrow my children for a free meal........please inbox me.

Thursday. 3 days after Monday Cleaning Day I am still surrounded by a dirty house. Today I am tired and it all is a bit over whelming to look at. I washed a few dishes even tho I have a perfectly fine dishwasher. I owe this to my mother-in-law, Diane. I have never known this woman to use a dishwasher in the 8 years I have known her on a personal level. I have never ask her her reasons for not using a perfectly good dishwasher but,I think they would probably be much like mine. You don't have to wash off spots or left over dried food. Hand washing is much milder on pots, pans, stoneware and tupperware. And whats the point of running a dish washer 3 times to clean a plate that eventually has to soak in dishwater and be washed by hand anyway? Diane, you would be happy to know the love of hand washing dishes has rubbed off on me.  This was not supposed to be a entry on washing dishes.  This was supposed to be a entry on the wild hair I got on Evyn's 2nd birthday.

January 5th. I loaded up all the boys and headed to town after school. Very rarely do I feel patient, loving and kind enough to take all four kids anywhere. On this particular day I was filled with love, guts and glory. I made my mind up to take all of them to Coltons for supper. It was Evyn's 2nd birthday and by golly someone was going to bring him cake and sing to that child! I decided Coltons was my better option of the sit down restaurants in Glasgow because the kids could eat peanuts and throw the shells on the floor. Don't laugh. Unless you have more than one child you cannot possibly fathom the panning that goes into a outing with 4 children.

Entering places together makes me nervous. I am a "first impressions" kinda gal. If you screw up the first minute with me you have officially gained nothing but the stink eye from me for eternity.

I would prefer to enter places with Danny. I do not like the idea of going somewhere with my herd and people thinking I am a single mother.  No disrespect to the fabulous single mothers I know. They work hard. Unfortunately I know a few single Mothers who play harder and forget they have children. When I am out with this bunch alone, I think their thoughts probley go something like this. "Look at that woman. She has 4 kids. Oh my gawd. They are all boys. I bet they have different Daddy's. Probaley just had all those kids to live off the government. Look, she is flashing that wedding band like she wants us to see it. It's probley just a ploy. I'd bet money she sits home on her arse and watches soaps all day while living off child support and food stamps". You get the idea.....

We sit at our booth, which I requested. Peyton traps Eli in the inside and I trap Zac. Evyn is the head of our table in a high chair. Right off the bat the fight begins over the one bucket of peanuts. 4 kids. One bucket. Shit, it didn't enter my mind that this would be a issue. They must have planned this maneuver on the way here to throw me off my game. Sneaky little herd.

We order our drinks. Eli demands root beer in a bottle. The waitress very kindly looks at me and says "there are no free refills on bottles. It's be a better idea for him to pick another soft drink to save you a little." I agreed with this woman. Not because I cared to pay for a second flippen bottle of root beer for Eli but because I knew he only wanted a bottle because the man next to us was enjoying a Bud. Eli just wanted to feel old. I knew this. He was irritated that I ask for a coke for him, and that she agreed to bring it. When she turned to walk away he threw his peanut shells over her head.

Ordering the food was no walk in the park. It was late afternoon and Eli's AD/HD meds were wearing thin in his little ornery body. He threw a fit when I made him and Pey half a full order of ribs as opposed to buying two half orders and paying double. Of course the waitress witnessed these fits of rage.

In the end Evyn got his ice cream float and a song. Zackary cried because he wanted it to be his birthday. The waitress brought him one, too. Eli was a disaster. His ribs were not cooperating and getting his hands too dirty for his liking. The 4x4 hand wipes they brought just didn't cut it.  Poor Pey. He had been helping me keep Evyn seated and was worn out. I feel confident these trips are great birth control for Pey. I don't feel like he will ever go uncovered later in life (much later I hope) after our Coltons trip.  Throw in some normal bickering among brothers and you've got a recipe for embarrassment.

The waitress brought me my ticket and informed me she didn't charge me for several items. Wonderful. This poor woman thinks we crawled out from under a rock to eat out on this child's birthday. She felt bad for charging me. I bet she thought I was spending diaper money so these kids could have their first sit down meal. 5 people ate that night at a steak house for under 30 bucks. Suckers!!!

Monday, January 16, 2012

13, THIRTEEN, 1-3, One Three......It stinks any way ya say it.

 I have so much in this house that needs to be done. Mondays are always my cleaning day because the kids have herded off to school. Today it's raining which is a perfect ingredient for a cleaning day. Unfortunately there is no school today. Last Friday was a snow day. That's four straight days of kids. My home and me need a break. My one little nerve is holding on for dear sweet life in anticipation for tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow. I will officially have a 13 year old. A Teenager. I had Peyton when I was 18. We have grown up together. I have been raising babies my entire adult life. This year my resolution was to do something I thought was impossible (and there are many but  I chose only one).  Classes begin a week from today. All a person can do is try, right? 

The weekend was relaxing for a few hours on Saturday. Thankfully there are two Mommy's and two Daddy's in our family. Mike and Lacy entertained the kids while we strolled Bowling Green. 13 is a big year and needed a nice gift. These things take peaceful thinking and what my new found writer/blogger mom likes to call, Mommy Juice.

I found nothing at the book store that screamed "I'm a great gift for a 13 year old" however I found a lot that spoke "I'm a great gift for the Mother of a 13 year old".

I have no idea why I bought every book that spoke to me. Danny is convinced that when classes begin I will have no time do much of anything. I hope it's not as paralyzing as he has made me believe. Maybe it's just a survival tactic he's pulling with me. Ya know, make me think it's going to be a near death experience so I get all pumped up and worried only to find it's much easier than I was prepared for. If that is you plan dear, it's working.

I have been told I am very indecisive and couldn't make a decision on my own if my life depended on it. I am happy to report that this one was made on my own. I may fall flat of my arse but at least I followed through with a choice I made. I have spent the last 2 months worried about who I would tick off. Who would make me feel like less of a parent for going. Honestly I didn't get any weird responses. Only a few concerns from Danny of how I intended to add more to what I already do, and how it would affect us. I think he had a momentary brain fart because he is never here anyway. Hard to be affected if your not present much. That's the life of a truckers wife. Our marriage is 90 percent via telephone. That's a blog for another day tho.

The boys are great. At the present time Zac has a carpet burn on his nose, Evyn has a busted lip from a fall yesterday, Peyton has red swollen bleeding gums because I have to brush his teeth these days (also a blog for another day) and Eli has a goose egg and little gash on the side of his head from a trucking incident. No major injuries this week. Yay.

I guess as some of you may have already noticed I closed the FB down again. I won't go into detail but just know I do not care for Thumpers using my statuses to preach. It was meant for my child and his fantastic doctors and surgeons. Take your testimony's to your church.  And certainly do not degrade any of my friends for their choices. Shame on you. I had my limit of FB back in the Summer but chose to reactivate it because it was such a fantastic way to publish my blogs. I have had my limit of the preaching,  bragging, whining and competing. Geeez people. I refrained too many times to count from asking "who are you trying to fool and how old are you exactly".

This is my life in a shell for the last few days. Shopping, snow, some cleaning and a teenager.
I am positive this huge birthday will result in a drunken blog later this week when it sinks in.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A Baby for my Baby

 What did I get Evyn for his birthday you ask. Well, I am not ashamed to admit I bought him a baby doll with a bottle and a stroller. I am a firm believer that baby dolls make little boys learn to be good Daddy's. In the past I have bought baby dolls to help the boys prepare for the shock of having a new baby in the home. We practice holding them, loving them, rocking them, an we learn where their little soft spots are and that they are "no no's to touch." Don't get bent out of shape on me tho. There will be no new babies in the Smith house in the near future. This was simply a whim. He loves his baby at the moment of these pictures. Later this day he got his foot caught while trying to fold up the stroller and was convinced it was the poor babies fault. Said baby was tossed across the room head first and we had to explain that the baby done nothing wrong and should not have been throw. I think "the talk" went in one ear and out the other.
I must complain about one thing. I am very irritated by the fact Kmart had a whole isle of babies and baby accessories and nothing was boy colors. A couple years ago we bought a baby in blue for Eli when Zackary was due. No blue clothes this time. Only pink, pink or pink. What's up with this people? Pink bottles, pink strollers. Only little girls on the boxes. What are we teaching our young men exactly? That they are only good for driving trucks, tractors and sports cars?

Happy 2nd Birthday to my miracle boy. Before you thumpers try to tell me all babies are miracles maybe you should take a look several post back at Evyn's Thursday. Which reminds me, I will be continuing the Thursdays post now that the new year has reared it's head in what feels like 30 days instead of 12 months.

Eli just simply had to paint on his poor Mommy as well. What the hay.......that's what soap and water are for, right?!