Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Social Services. Just how many families have they disrupted wrongfully?

I have been putting off this post for six months now, but as promised, I'm going to explain some events that happen in August of last year.

As most of you know we decided to foster two years ago. After weeks of planning, deciding on a company, training and waiting for a placement of our own we were placed with a little girl in late July. It was one of the happiest days of my entire life. She was truly a dream come true. My sweet girl was a challenge. She had some serious medical challenges. She had severe scoliosis that would require numerous surgeries to correct. She had a cleft pallet that had only been partially corrected. She had a abnormality in one of her eyes that Dr.'s believed had left her legally blind in one eye. The pallet made it extremely difficult for her to eat so she had extremely low muscle mass. It was uncertain rather it was from malnourishment or something more serious. Developmentally she was six month old even though she was almost two years old. She couldn't sit alone nor stand, crawl or speak. Due to these extreme physical conditions I bathed her in our deep well kitchen sink. It was the safest, I thought at the time.

On August the 4th we were getting ready for church and I bathed her in my sink as always but this time something terrible happen.

My dishwasher was plumbed to drain into my kitchen sink and during her bath the dishwasher drained and gave my sweet girl 2nd degree burns on her leg. We immediately took her to the ER were she was then sent to Kosairs for better treatment of her burn. As with any situation like this social services had to be contacted. The gentleman who visited us at TJ deemed this incident a accident an gave me permission to ride with her to Kosairs where I stayed with her until she was placed with a family that could better take care of her physical needs. A medically fragile training was required once all of her physical and mental developmental issues came to light while she was in Kosairs.

Our own county worker had to also come out and do his own investigation. This man was rude. Judgemental. Short fused. He made us feel like trash from the word go. I am certain his mind was made up before he ever entered our home. I realize he must have a terrible job. I would not want it! However, some things are truly accidental and I wonder how many times these county officials have ruined lives of innocent families. Things went terribly down hill. He found me guilty of neglect under the statue that I didn't provide her with appropriate care. This verdict came down the first of October. I was encouraged to hire a lawyer and appeal this charge, which we done. Court was today.

I was hoping that by the end of today I would know one way or another if the argument my lawyer put up for me today convinced the court official to overturn Metcalfe County's social workers decision to substantiate neglect on me. Unfortunately he has 15 more days to make a choice either on my behalf or not. What's 15 more days after waiting six months!?

I love and thank each of you whom have stood my me and kept my spirits high while dealing with this. And I apologize to those of you I didn't tell this too. Part of me was embarrassed that this happen even though it was only a accident. Part of me felt like a failure. In my 15 years of parenting four children of my own, nothing like this had ever happen and I couldn't understand why. As time goes on I'm beginning to understand why she didn't remain with us after waiting so patiently for a daughter for so many years.

My very good friend said it best to me a few days ago. "It'll all work out in the end. And if it doesn't..........then it's not the end".

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