Saturday, February 18, 2012

 Spring cleaning came a month early today. Me, Evyn and Eli have had the house to ourselves for twenty four hours and I throwed down on this place. I vacuumed every floor, ceiling, wall, nook and cranny. I mopped ever hard surface, bleached everything bleachable and washed mirrors and windows. I washed down all the trim and woodwork in wood soap and then done it all over again twice. OCD flaring up you ask. Maybe. Danny hates coming home to a obsessively compulsive cleaned house. Usually he turns around and walks back out then calls and ask if it's safe to come home. Some use drugs to relax. Some use Yoga. I clean. It works wonders for the soul usually.

 Everyone is home now so I have to use a alternate form. Blogging.

 My weather lady messaged me during the night and told me to get my arse up first thing and go get the necessities. Milk, cigarettes and diapers. She knows I never turn a television on except for Thursday nights. I had no idea of the impending weather. She takes care of me. Someone has too, or I'd loose my head if it wasn't attached. I still will have to see it to believe it. It's in the fifties today. It's going to have to do some major cooling down. I wouldn't mind the five inches they are calling for. Five inches isn't eight like some are getting but I'll take it. That's enough to have a little fun with before winter is over.

 Apparently I still need to relax a bit. Danny says he's heard hammers hit nails quieter than I'm hitting these keys. I suppose I need to keep rambling until I'm hitting the keys easier.

 I done a very bad, terrible, no good thing yesterday. I caught the driver of a school bus in the parking lot at school. I hate the person I morph in to when I'm mad. This man has had it coming for a week and I kept putting it off. Peyton ask me to just let it go and I did several times for him. Yesterday I was out of the car and in this mans face before I realized I'd even opened the car door. Somethings I can let go of without ever speaking my mind. Unfortunately when it involves my children I loose all ability to shut my mouth. I have to be their voice until they can speak for themselves. Sadly children are never heard. Their opinions don't matter much these days. We need to listen to our children. Everyone deserves a chance to be heard. I won't go into detail about the events that took place on this gentleman's bus, but know it was a serious incident that was not corrected.

 I don't think I have given an update on Eli lately. He's struggling still. We all are. Seroquel was added a few weeks ago and in the beginning it proved to be the miracle I had been waiting for. Insurance will not pay for it but at that time it was worth the 300.00 a month. Now the sedative effects have worn off and we are reverting to his sleeping pill again as well. That makes his pill count to Concerta and Seroquel in the a.m. and Depakote and Seroquel in the p.m.. We use the Clonidine as needed. The Dr. has also ordered a low dose Ritalin at 2 p.m. that I have yet to fill and begin. So much has been going on that I can't seem to focus. Starting a new medication is nerve racking enough on top of the second set of truancy papers I received last week and the problems that are happening on the bus. Why can't things just be easy for a little bit? I wish I had my degree already so I could discuss everything with myself and actually have all the answers. I have always heard that people who love Psyc either know people who are crazy or are themselves. The verdict is still out on that.

(Danny says I'm still beating the keys. He's one to talk since he's drinking his relaxation and I'm simply blogging)

Now that I think about it, it just dawned on me that I have not shared the huge change I made a few weeks ago. I found homes for all of my Yorkies and Maltese. I went from twenty plus dogs down to three. I still have my two Danes and a Yorkie in the house. I raised her here. I kept her for a companion and for extra cash a couple times a year. It was a huge change. I had been raising puppies for 8 years. It was time to let it go though. Change scares the daylights out of me, but I done it. I have not regretted my decision for a minute since the last little yapper left. Same goes for WKU. Not only am I attending but I am sitting in a room of strangers and I am relaxed. It's safe to say I love it. A big ole thanks to Tarah who sit me down and spent a hour literally analyzing my issues with strangers and helping me to see they can't hurt me. In my personal experiences it's been someone I've known well who's done the most damage and it's not fair to others for me to automatically assume everyone is demented. I wish she has sat me down a long time ago. It would have saved me a lot of endless hours in this house.

 I don't think my chaotic rambling is helping. Maybe I should resort to what I know works. I think the bathrooms could use another wipe down. I hope your weekend has been memorable. I can't wait to see the blanket on snow that's on it's way. Expect photographs. If your going to be stuck inside in colder weather, I hope it's with great company.

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