Not Ashamed

I completely contradicted myself in a post I wrote a year or more ago. The Medication Debate.

Back in the Summer when we lost Dr. Littleton to UK I got a call from Eli's insurance. We have Ky Spirit and I am very thankful for it since Danny's work does not provide insurance. The nurse informed me that any med changes would need to be inpatient given Eli's history. Eli's history?! You mean the incidents I have handled at home where he is surrounded by people who love him and not strangers in a sterile environment?

I thought about this for several weeks before I decided I had to wean him off his Seroquil to prevent this from ever happening and I convinced myself I'd not really seen a difference in the year he had been on it.

I weaned him off the exact way it was calibrated. Very slowly a few mg's at ta time. The first couple weeks I removed the morning dose. I saw no change and was thrilled. By the time we went to the island on vacation a couple weeks ago he had just been weaned off completely and was perfect while we were gone.

When we came home the bottom dropped. He was a different child. He constantly had to be scolded, redirected and was also having a few problems at school with disrespecting his teacher.

The first thing I done was try to add a little extra stimulant in the mornings. He takes a 27mg ER but I added 10mg of RR. This corrected the school problem but home was making me loose my mind. I could feel it. I was coming apart at the seems. Dreading when the bus ran. The week after we returned from the island he sat for hours and picked crab claws from his feet that he swore stuck in there from the little fellas on the beach at night. He became very anxious. Constantly picking at his skin, nails, toes, hair, feet and nose. I had had enough when he was playing with Zackary and  unknowingly bit the back of his leg and then seemed suprised he had done it. The eye for a eye in me bit him back!  I knew it just wasn't fair anymore for him to continue without it so this week I began giving it again and working my way slowly back up to the dose we were at. He has been asleep by 830 every night and back to eating more.

If things fall into place as I think they will Danny's work will be offering insurance soon and I won't have to worry about Ky Spirits requirements and regulations in mental health. Fingers Crossed.

Use me a example. Weather you are 9 or 90 or somewhere in between, sometimes you need to be on medication. Same as a diabetic needs insulin. It's no different. And we are not ashamed.