It's time to allow myself to heal and get back to being the mother that locks her crazed children outside in their underwater as I did the night before tragedy struck last week.

I have let so many things slide and it's time to buck up and get on with it. I will never forget, but I have to do something to stop the tears that have dripped every day for  five days now.

I don't recall much about Friday except this coverage and counting little bodies as they bounced off the school bus. Tears streaming. The first of many. I think initially I was in shock and it didn't truly hit home till the bus ran and all mine were safe and sound.

That night I allowed many discrepancies I would not normally allow. Screaming, running, fighting, that just the night before earned them a ticket in the cold outside in their Spiderman underware.
The weekend was much the same.  Evyn pooped in his underware about four times and I laughed about it. Dumping the contents in the pot and happily washing them out with a little shampoo in the tub. Eli lied about having homework last week and for the most part I let that slide. Zackary has slept in my bedroom floor for 5 nights. I say he was never exposed to any of this, but he must have been to be so clingy lately. He normally enjoys his privacy. Peyton was kicked out of a classroom Monday for smarting off to a sub. I let that slide. Just two days prior to Friday he and I were in court dealing with his issues with a very disturbed child that occurred two months ago.

It's time to stop letting the three year hide and crap all over my house. It's time to put Zackary back into his own bed to sleep. I am pretty sure I broke my third toe last night trying not to step on him while feeling my way to the bathroom.  Stumped my toe on the bed leg and put my right hip into a position that hasn't been possible for me to achieve since 2002.

It's about time!!!  Today is the last day of school. Let the Winter Break begin. Yay for all the chit that these kids are gonna try and pull over on me cause lately I have been the weakest link. No more, my kiddos. Momma is back!