Sunday, December 2, 2012

*Christmas Parade........FAIL

We took all four kids to the parade last night. Here's the facts of the night.
*This was Evyn's first parade.

*Eli was unmedicated.

*Peyton was ill because Kiley was visiting with her Mom in the hospital and unable to go with us. (but completely understood)

*Danny had done actual manual labor all day with Daddy and was worn out.

*Zackary was confused at this "parade" concept and was hungry from the time we parked after being told to eat something before we left cause we would have no time to eat until after the parade.

We parked in Save Alot parking lot and had a bit of a walk to get to a decent spot. We chose a church front space that had some decorative landscaping rocks to sit on beside the sidewalk. A perfect spot since the parade wasn't scheduled to start for a hour not counting the time it would take to even reach us.

We settled into our spot and the bitchen began. I'm hungry, I'm bored, I wanna go to Daddy's, I want a glow stick, I want chicken nuggets, I wanna play the ipod, no I do, no me first............Good Lord!!!

After sitting for 30 minutes the kids were already tired and no clue of what exactly we were even waiting on. They discovered they could lay back into some foliage the church yard and rest. They could bury up in it. I even took a picture. It was Ivy so it was soft and had buoyancy. And then a voice from behind us said "hey!! Get out of that. This is not your property and you are destroying it".      My first response ,and my apologies for offending you by cussing on your holy veil, but I said "who the hell is that bitch talking too?" Already knowing she was correcting my children for laying back in this dam Ivy that is virtually indestructible. Because it was a public place and we have already had the law called on us once this year I decided to let it go.

It actually became sorda fun to listen to her fuss at everyone who stomped through the foliage. Everyone else was not so nice and frankly laughed and told her to mind her own business. I'm assuming maybe she was a church member there. I don't know, and don't care. None of us were puttin' a hurting on this vine that covered a area as large as my front porch. She finally gave up and moved along.

The parade seemed generic to me. Short and weak in the lights department. The bands needed some practice and the riders were not overly friendly. People handed out candy to a child here or there which caused a huge dilemma for us cause no one ever handed all three of my little ones candy. I was hit or miss. The dam Coke Polar bear can't just hand one of my kids a coke and expect not to be tackled by the other two. Seriously. One of the churches was handing out Bibles and handed only Eli one. OH MY GAWD!! I thought Zac was gonna crap a brink right then and there!!

Evyn was shifted from my shoulders to Danny's to Peyton's. He ate candy and was sure to stick everything he didn't want after a lick or three in my hair.

Peyton admired the vehicles through the whole parade. He told us the year, make and model of every car, truck, tractor and mule that drove by. Along with motor size, shape and fuel mileage. It made me stupid crazy to listen to this for 2 hours while I picked candy cane out of my hair, calmed Zac for not getting a Bible and keep Eli out of the precious Ivy before he caused me to jack slap the lady who loved correcting everyone who touched this stuff like it was her life line. By the time Santa rode by he was too busy fiddling with something in the bottom of the sleigh to even look up and wave at the boys. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. Evyn had no idea who he was, Zac was hiding behind me crying cause he dropped his Bluegrass Cellular pencil sharpener out of his pocket and the girl next to us grabbed it and wouldn't give it back, Eli was in a sugar high from eating ever single Toostie Roll he could get his hands on, and Peyton's shoulders were spazzing from the weight of Evyn on them.
Christmas Parade.......huge fail.

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