First, thank you for all the calls, texts, food brought to our home and most of all your prayers. Please keep the pray coming. I'm sorry that I've not text some back or messaged. I have good days and bad days, mentally and physically.
Right now as I write this blog using my phone while sitting in the recliner I can hear Danny going from room to room empting everyone's garbage. Just prior to that he put my socks on and covered me up. I can't even begin to tell you how good he's been to me and how well he has stepped into playing my role here. That man has amazed me. I love him so.
Many don't know exactly what is going on so I'm going to try and explain it best I can. I'm still educating myself by reading others stories (they are few and not all encouraging so my sweet OB Maggie has given me strict instruction to stay off the internet).
There is a thing called
Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction.
Many women suffer from this during their third trimester of pregnancy. I can't say that I did. I had your normal aches and pains but I don't beleive had I mentioned these symptoms it would have been considered this. The reason I mention this is because of you read it, it's awful close to what I'm dealing with. Except, my pelvis actually separated during delivery. That separation caused severe pain and discomfort while I was in the hospital and my first few days home. The pain has somewhat subsided but I still few a great deal of pubic none pressure and and cramps much like period pain. I walk with a walker and have been instructed to take small slidding steps. I can't bend. I can't lift either leg. I can't make any twisting movement. Riding in a vehicle is next to impossible because of the twisting motion it takes to get into a one. Besides that, the steps leading off my back porch are boogers too. A walker and steps mix like oil and water.
I am wearing a sort of brace right now like they give you when discharged from the hospital with a csection. I wear it low and tight on my hips. It provides some support to sorda "pull my two halves back together" but mostly it makes me aware of my movement and keeps me from taking to large of steps. I'm expecting a brace today and praying that it makes a big enough difference that I'm not so discouraged. My OB has done her best to keep me on a positive note and reminds me that these things take time and rest. Neither I'm very good with.
I want to hear similar stories but there just seems to be nothing out there. I hear and read the word "rare" a lot.
My little prize is 10 days old and compared to the day she was born and the days after, I've made progress. It's such a slow depressing time for me. Im not going to sugar coat this.
Danny is unable to work because I need round the clock care as do our children. Right now he's vacuuming under my feet. Bills will soon pile up. And stress will begin to overwhelm me even more. I'm scared. Terrified actually, that this is my life. Throw that into the mix with anxiety and sadness and I'm just a ball of fun. Please continue to pray for me. Something like this sure will show you what's important. Times I spent fussing about picking up toys, washing dishes, dressing the kids when they were to sleepy to do it themselves......If I could just heal and be somewhat able is never fuss about meaningless stuff again. How I want to pack my baby girl that I wished for most of my life. When she crys I can't walk and sooth her and that hurts my heart . So I just cry right along with her.
If any of you know anyone or have any information you could pass along I'd sure be greatful. I've read so much during the nights here that all I remember are the terrible stories of extreme cases were surgery to fuse the bones together was nessasary but the outcomes have not been great.