It's been another crazy couple of days. On the bright side, I have a new washer and dryer that has made my life here so much easier. I am very thankful for it. Maybe I can bath more then once a week now.
There has been something on my mind lately. I think it's Evyn's Thursday. I realize there hasn't been a Zac's Thursday yet, but he will have his turn. Promise.
I have heard a couple different horror stories lately and decided today was the day I blogged about Evyn's birth, and the days that followed.
Last week I learned about a baby girl who was born 17 years ago with the exact diagnosis as Evyn had. She lived 45 minutes.
Last night I learned about a baby girl who was born and died a few minutes after birth. The parents were unsure of the cause of her death but after speaking with them the similarities are much the same.
Parents intuition? It's no joke. I knew the entire time I was pregnant that Evyn was going to be sick. Something was wrong. I didn't know what, just something. I shared these thoughts with a friend who helped me brush those feeling under the rug and blame them on the fact I had had 3 healthy babies and had convinced myself I was tempting fate and due a sick child.
No ultrasound showed a problem. None of my blood work threw a flag. I had fancy 4d US done and it too was good. She saw no reason to contact a Dr. All of these things eased my hunches, but only temporarily. At night I found myself working out details in my head about what to do with the other 3 boys when this one arrived sick. It's safe to say I drove myself crazy.
Evyn's due date came and went. He was due Dec. 25th. My health was a on fast decline once his due date came and went. I was tired. Sick. A nervous wreck. I was sent for a couple NTS. At one of them, I was lucky enough to have had my membrane stripped. By far the worst experance of my entire life and it didn't only last momentarily. The effects of it, lasted days. The purpose is to bring on labor. It did bring on contractions, but they were not dilating me so I was sent home packing. I was home for several days having contractions. Finally Dr. Mody arrived back from India where she had been gone for a couple weeks and left me in the hands of Dr. Dirig. I saw her on Monday and was induced the following morning. Evyn was still very stubborn. He didn't want to join us here at all!! I firmly believe he was two weeks late and slow to deliver because my body knew he was not well and better off if he stayed where he was.
The three days we were in TJ I was made to believe a I had a completely healthy newborn. He was born Jan 5th and I was released to take him home the 7th. By the 11th I realized something was terribly wrong. He had drainage from him cord. Not normal drainage. This was different. After debate and a couple calls to the Dr., one of my best friends loaded us up and took us to the ER. Pointless. There I was made to believe he was normal and I was uneducated about newborn cord care. I left in tears. Not aiming to take "go home" for a answer I had him at his Peds office on Monday morning. There she fussed at me for having taken him to the ER over something so minor as a little cord drainage. She felt it was just as simple as him needing his cord cauterized. This helped the drainage for several hours but not my nerves. By Wed. morning the drainage had doubled in amount and was bubbling. Air. Yes air was being expelled from his cord. One phone call to his Ped and we had a ticket to Kosairs.
I don't remember packing for that. I don't remember what I said to the other boys. I just remember thinking "I knew something was wrong and no one would listen to me."
After seeing several Dr's at Kosairs we met the man who I own my child's life too. Dr. Foley. Chief of Ped surgery at Kosairs. He walked in that room with a halo on his head. I saw it, even if no one else did. He scheduled surgery for the next morning. During this time Evyn wasn't allowed to nurse. That was the longest night of my entire life. I hadn't ate, hadn't slept. I had cryed till I had nothing left. I was running for pure adrenalin and had been since his birth. The next morning they called for us. We walked Evyn all the way to surgery. We were dragging two IV poles and a heart monitor beside us. He had been hooked up to so many devices since the moment we arrived. What a heart wrenching walk that was. A 8 day old baby cradled in my arms and looking to me for healing. It was out of my hands tho. The doors swung open and the last words I heard before I handed him to the team of nurses and Dr's were, "take some time with him and say your goodbyes."
My goodbyes? Did this mean they didn't feel good about the outcome of this surgery? The next several hours time stood still. Finally they called for us. The surgery had been successful he believed. It consisted of repairing a Fistula, umbilical hernia, removing his Appendix, rerouting his bowels and reconstructing him a new and improved navel. They brought him back to me hooked up to even more then before. The next few days drug by as well. It was such a slow process of letting him nurse again to make his he had no drainage going into his body cavity. In simple terms, he was having bowel movements from his belly button. (every time I say that out loud I think of TJ telling me cord drainage was normal and I was being ridiculas)Eventually we were able to bring our son home to his brothers. It was Peyton's 11th birthday.
First Smile- March 1, 2010
First said Momma-April 2010 (not j/k)
Said Dada- Sep. 19th 2010
Walked-Nov. 22, 2010
First foods- May 12, 2010 (sweet potatoes)
That was tough to read, I can't imagine how hard it was to live through. Thank goodness you listened to yourself!
ReplyDeleteI've read this so many time but still get teary eyed. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall in the ped's office after being notified of his actual conditon.
ReplyDeleteMichelle