Saturday, October 13, 2012

A few things are bugging me today to no end!! I think it must be the early on-set of Mad Cow.

Today, again, I mad the choice to stop smoking. Yes, I've quit about five times but never really wanted to till now. I loved smoking, till now.

Yesterday I threw down a cigarette butt and Evyn picked it up and put it in his mouth. Dad took "the tone" with me. "The Tone" gets me every time and every time he is always correct. Case in point, when he told me to leave the husband that cheated on me when I was six months pregnant with his son..........but I did not. He used his tone and told me I'd be sorry. I was. I wasted years more of my young life in a vicious cycle when I should have never looked back after being humiliated, degraded, taken advantage of and having my unborn child disrespected. Looking back, I don't know how I did not go into premature labor. From that point foward I made it my own personal mission to shock and hurt this man to the extent he did me. I should have listened to my Daddy sooner. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with intent to throw it at someone. I was burned worse then anyone.
"The Tone" has prevented me ever since from making bad choices from money to divorce to raising my children. How in the heck did that man get so smart? He literally knows everything!! Is it a parent thing? Or is he super natural? it's like he can see into the future before it happens. So when he told me I was setting a bad example by smoking in front of that moment I was done. Dang Tone does it every time. If only I had realized that man knew everything about 15 years sooner.

It seems I have someone who is trying their best to intertwine themselves into my life. Just recently it was brought to my attention about a few things this person had done and until I sat back and looked closely i'd never realized the extent they's went to be so nosey in my life. FB can be such a wonderful way to get the word out about events, family, work,ect. but it can also be a sneaky way to nose in my business with MY FAMILY and MY FRIENDS. It looks odd when folks you know states away are on a particular persons FB as well and you know good and dam well they don't know them from Adam. I have made it clear if I have something to say too you or about you I will confront you. I am not a manipulative chicken and have to snoop around acquaintances on FB to see if I can read anything interesting. (See. I told you I was suffering from Mad Cow. At this moment I am having visions of punching someone in the throat for not staying on their side of the line.)

14 years ago yesterday I found out I was having a boy. Peyton. Time flys when you go through two divorces and a rocky patch in the third inning. I am so thankful all that is behind me and it's smooth sailing from here on out. It is so nice to reach a point where things are easy. I have waited for this point in my life for a long time. It's nice.

Today's mission......Danny is gonna treat me to a new sewing machine. It seems this domestic stuff suits me. Maybe I will start sewing body bags.

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